What Do Men Really Want?

I've been seeing many articles about "what men want?" The themes are typically: food, sex, laundry, etc. Now, I certainly don't claim to know what all men want. I don't think any woman, or man for that matter, really knows such a thing. It implies all men are the same and have no capacity for individuality. I think most women would state that they want food, sex, and laundry too...

Food is an obvious one. Every human being (breatharians aside) needs food for survival, so it seems fairly straightforward, although some of the suggestions suggest that men wants women to provide food for them. Well, women need food too and most of us would love someone to prepare it for us. Having said that I think there are men (and women) who are exploiting gender stereotypes to suit their (sometimes selfish) wants.

Sex is also fairly obvious (for both men and women) but the articles I've been reading have made sex out to be this utilitarian thing that women provide. Women can certainly engage in sex if they choose to when they are in the mood. But, it shouldn't be presumed that because a woman (or a man, for that matter) is in a relationship, they are expected to be available for sex whenever his/her partner wants it. And, instead of looking at sex as something a man wants, perhaps more men would do well to be less self-focused and strive to authentically love, respect, and honor the women in their lives.

And, as for the laundry thing. What woman wouldn't want the laundry done for her too? It's not like the genome scientists discovered that only women come with the laundry gene. I think it's valuable to let go of some stereotypes about gender "norms" in favor of relationships involving people as individuals.

As a woman who has been in a long-term marriage to the most incredible man I've ever met and who brings a depth of character that goes well beyond desires for food, sex, and laundry, I've come to appreciate that some men are so much more than their perceived "wants" and that men deserve to be treated as individuals who may actually rise well above some of their counterparts. My incredible husband does a lot more laundry than I've ever done, while I do a lot more cooking, but that's what works for us. I don't expect him to do more of the laundry, and I know he doesn't expect me to have a meal on the table when he gets home. As he says, "if I'm hungry, I know how to make something to eat." And, perhaps the reason why people still think we're honeymooners after 12 years is that we love and cherish each other so much that we truly want the greatest happiness for each other, and nowhere does that mean servitude.

And women, too, deserve to be treated as individuals and not just entities that exist for the purpose of serving the wants of the men in their life. We are so much more than our capacities to provide food, sex, or laundry services. Yet, so many of us are taught to please others from the time we're children. So, if a guy says he'll be more commitment-oriented if we provide food, sex, and laundry services, many women will do these things. But, ultimately, such claims are exploitive of women.

And what about gay and lesbian relationships? Based on the arguments presented in some of the articles I've been reading, it would seem that gay and lesbian relationships would end in power struggles and stalemates. While that happens in some gay and straight relationships alike, homosexual relationships are not doomed to this ridiculous outcome because of gender stereotypes.

Isn't it time we recognized that all people are individuals with unique characteristics and therefore a combination of wants and needs may be unique to us? Oh, sure, many men (or women) will be thrilled to have women (or men, as the case may be) make their food, offer them sex, and complete their laundry at their beckon call. But, that isn't the way to true love or a successful long-term relationship.

And, maybe more women need to forget the articles, books, and blogs that tell them "what men want." All men are different. It serves men to perpetuate ridiculous stereotypes and broad claims (by doing so, they get their meals made, laundry done, and sex.) It's time for every woman to honor the beautiful individual she is: intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. By being a strong and authentic woman, I assure you, you will attract a partner who values your strength and respects your individuality--a partner who will love and honor you. That's because some men truly want a strong woman who is happy and not burned out from trying to please her man.

Michelle Schoffro Cook, DNM, DAc, CNC is a best-selling and six-time book author, whose works include: The Life Force Diet, The Ultimate pH Solution, The 4-Week Ultimate Body Detox Plan, The Brain Wash, and Healing Injuries the Natural Way. She has appeared in/on over 350 radio and television shows, newspaper and magazine articles worldwide, including: Woman's World, First for Women, Vegetarian Times, Robert Kennedy's Oxygen: Fitness for Women, HELLO! Canada, Glow, YOU: The Owner's Manual Radio Show, and The Gary Null Show. Visit www.DrMichelleCook.com to learn more about her work.

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