What was his name? Now keep track of all your tricks with Bedpost

Bedpost, is a quirky web app that allows you to track your sexual activity online. It acts like an online calendar which you mark on whenever you have sex. The idea behind this is after a few months you can look back at your history and reflect.

sexual activity

One might ask why you can’t use Outlook for such a thing. Well I think that the two just wouldn’t feel right together. Bedpost is intended to be fun and quirky where as Outlook or other calendar programs are for your public life. Plus you boss might wonder what you’re doing having sex a half hour before a conference call with Tokyo.



Furthermore, it’s not just posting when you had sex. Bedpost also lets you track who it was with, how good it was and how long it (or rather you) lasted via a system of stars and sliders. So after a couple months one can look back at you calendar spread and see how often you’ve been getting busy and with whom. See what days are your most common, and how long you last on average.

For the moment, BedPost is still in private Beta testing but you can request invite on the site and they give it out quickly.

Features:

* Track your sexual life online.
* Also track who it was with, how good it was and how long it lasted.
* Get detailed stats.
* Similar tool: nOOkist.

Check out BedPost @ www.bedposted.com (by Dean Sherwin)

5 Relationship Myths (and How To Break Them) – life beyond therapy

In the interest of furthering happy and healthy LGBT relationships, I’d like to share with you five long-held relationship myths and why it’s psychologically healthy to break them. Despite the hundreds of self-help books out on the shelves, there’s a lot of impractical and impossible advice given by the “experts”. After years in this business (of psychology), I’d like to share my favorite relationship myths with you, in the hopes that – by busting them – your relationships will be more fulfilling and loving for you and your honey:

Myth #1: Don’t worry about your (lack of a) sex life

After months (or years) of a relationship, many experts tell you that it’s okay if your sex life starts to suck. I say: no way! Sex is a crucial part of a healthy relationship. When we find ourselves too busy, stressed out and/or not emotionally connected with our partner, sex is one of the quickest and most pleasurable ways to reconnect. It helps you both to re-experience being those madly-in-love people you used to be. It’s all too easy to put off sex…but don’t do it! There’s nothing like a shared orgasm and a happy, post-coital glow to improve your outlook on life and remember why you love that man/woman you’ve been with all this while. A good sex life is part of your mental health: cherish it, hold it as a priority and make it happen.

Myth #2: Having/adopting children will bring you closer

In recent years, LGBT families are popping up all over the place…and it’s great! But, if you and your partner are considering becoming parents, please consider your motivation. While having a baby/adopting a child can be a fabulous bonding experience, it’s a million times more stressful on your relationship than your worst remodeling project could ever be. Imagine the unbelievable commitments of time and energy a child will require…how will this affect your private time with yourself and with your partner? While creating a family together can be amazingly fulfilling, it’s also incredibly difficult. Look at this one realistically before you make your two-some into a three-some.

Myth #3: Never go to bed angry

This is my favorite myth to bust. Has anyone ever really pulled this one off? I doubt it. Going to sleep angry isn’t great, but – for most of us – it’s occasionally part of coupledom. Even if you go to bed mad and sleep in separate rooms once in a while, it’s okay. Yes, okay. Don’t make it into a big deal…it’s part of life that many of us coupled LGBTers don’t talk about because we’re embarrassed. You can also try agreeing to disagree until morning. Sounds corny, but it often works. After all, how many of us are thinking clearly late at night? It’s a bad time for problem resolution. You both often see things more clearly in the morning anyway…and conflicts are usually more easily resolved after a little time has passed. You may lose a good night’s sleep, but in the long run, it’s worth it because your disagreements get resolved more completely and efficiently.

Myth #4: Never take your partner for granted

Doesn’t every episode of “Oprah” mention this in some form? It’s almost a cardinal sin. I say, it’s time to rethink this one. Doesn’t taking your partner for granted mean that you can count on, depend on and trust him/her…that you are both absolutely there for each other? You need to feel secure enough to lean on your partner without worrying that he/she will flake on you. This doesn’t mean treating someone badly; it does mean that you can count on each other and watch out for each other. This is also known as “security” and “dependability”, comprendez?

Myth # 5: Partners/lovers should be best friends as well as romantic partners

Doesn’t this sound logical? You and your partner know each other better than anyone else, so why wouldn’t you be best friends too? This myth brings a lot of pain and disappointment to a lot of my clients. One person cannot be everything to you. If they are, it’s a setup for unhappiness. The best relationships are a balancing act: time alone, time with friends, time with partner. Don’t give up your friendships when you fall in love…you need more than one person in your life to be close to, laugh with, cry with, hang out with, do stuff with. It’s normal to sometimes feel closer to your best friend than your partner. Just keep reconnecting to your honey while sharing your life with other people who love you…and everyone benefits.

May busting these myths bring you and your current (or potential) partner closer than ever. I encourage you to question every piece of “expert” advice you read, including this column. If the advice works for you, great. If it doesn’t: ignore it, trust your intuition and follow your heart. After all, YOU are the real expert in your life. Trust yourself.


The advice contained in this article is for informational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of Content found on a Website.

---

life beyond therapy |Born in Northern Ohio (the oldest of four children), Michael Kimmel grew up in a small town of two thousand sassy farmers. He maintains a private psychotherapy practice and offer workshops for the Southern Californian LGBT community. Michael can be reached at www.lifebeyondtherapy.com

How to Make up with Your Lover

Tips for Making up with Every Sign
Making up is hard to do, unless you pay special attention to your lover’s Sun Sign. The next time you find yourself in the dog house, consider the following tips. Pretty soon, you’ll be back in your beloved’s arms, rather than scratching at the back door for scraps!

Aries
Don’t beat around the bush with forthright Aries. Ask for their forgiveness, admit your wrongdoing, and promise to never commit the same mistake again. Stick to your word, because Aries has no tolerance for broken promises. Don’t wait for a “good time” to apologize, because the Ram will jump right back into the dating pool. A public apology may be in order if you’ve wounded this lover’s ego.

Taurus
Taurus is the most stubborn sign in the zodiac. If the two of you have had a fight, you need to admit that your lover was right in the first place. Until you do, your conversations will remain stalled. It’s also good to craft a plan that will help you deal with future conflicts in a constructive, healthy way. That way, you will ease the fears of your security-conscious lover.

Gemini
Send a funny note of apology. Nothing breaks down Gemini’s reserve like humor. If you’ve made a serious error, write a heartfelt letter asking for your lover’s forgiveness and send it overnight express. This sign admires swift, decisive action, and won’t wait by the phone for your call. If you really want to smooth things over with this lover, you’ve got to communicate. Otherwise, Gemini will sense you are holding something back.

Cancer
Making up with Cancer requires patience, delicacy, and tact. The Crab’s feelings are easily bruised. Don’t make light of your mistakes, and never tease them about theirs. Telling this sign that you can’t live without their love will usually do the trick. If Cancer still pouts after your apology, fix a home-cooked meal and fuss over their welfare. Make more time for this lover, and listen attentively to their concerns.


Leo
Flattery will get you everywhere with Leo. Apologize profusely for your misdeeds, and declare that you don’t deserve their love. Showering this sign with gourmet chocolates and hothouse flowers can also do this trick. Lions love lavish tributes. Make a greater effort to be worthy of their love by dressing well. When Leo sees that you’re trying hard to earn their affection, they’ll let you back into their life.

Virgo
Clean up your language. Virgo can’t stand swears and curses. Bone up on your etiquette. Knowing the proper thing to do will melt the Virgin’s reserve. Be on time, and tidy up your home. This sign will be far more likely to accept your apology if you clean up your act. If you want to make a peace offering, choose a good book. Virgo doesn’t like emotional appeals; they prefer dealing with problems on a logical front.

Libra
Express more interest in Libra’s activities. Brush up on your conversational skills. Make a point of complimenting this sign more often. Anybody who is born under the sign of the Scales needs constant verbal and physical assurance. Offer a formal written and spoken apology. Libra needs to know that you are serious about changing your ways. Make more of an effort to keep the romance alive in your relationship.

Scorpio
Make a dramatic gesture to demonstrate your devotion. As far as Scorpions are concerned, talk is cheap. Only positive action will get you back into their good graces. Whether this means breaking a bad habit, getting help for a serious problem, or ending ties that have undermined your relationship is immaterial. The important thing is that you act to satisfy Scorpio’s concerns. Always take this sign’s complaints seriously.

Sagittarius
Make a warm, affectionate peace offering. Sagittarians love pets, and may not be able to resist the lure of a cute puppy or kitten. Adopt a more open mind. Archers don’t obey any social conventions, and won’t enjoy being held to arbitrary rules. Become friends with their pals. This sign places greater emphasis on their social relationships than their romantic ones. The sooner you become one of the gang, the quicker you’ll make up.

Capricorn
Be honest and forthcoming. Capricorn can spot a lie from a mile away. If you screwed up, admit it and formulate a plan to do better. Empty promises will get you nowhere with this sign. Goats place great stock in material security. Opening a savings account will demonstrate your willingness to forge a stable future together. Never tease a Capricorn, especially when you’re trying to make up. This sign doesn’t play around!

Aquarius
Invite Aquarius to discuss your problems over coffee. The Water-bearer can’t resist a free exchange of ideas. Resist getting emotional with this sign, or you’ll remain single. Don’t keep any secrets from Aquarius, or your relationship will continue to stagnate. If you want this sign to stick around, you’ve got to keep everything out in the open. Be more open to adventure, and take the Water-bearer’s suggestions from time to time.

Pisces
Throw yourself at the mercy of this compassionate sign. Pisces can’t stand to see anybody suffer. Be less possessive and demanding. The Fish can’t stand a romance that resembles a prison. Accept the fact that this lover is extremely sensitive, and needs to be handled with kid gloves. Vow to be more tender and loving. Get into the habit of expressing your love on a daily basis, not just special occasions.