One of the most universal desires we have as human beings is to find love.
Most of us want to find romantic love. To find a soul mate, someone with whom we can share our innermost thoughts and feelings. Someone to share the joys and sorrows of our daily lives and to walk beside us in this great adventure called life.
Often though, in our quest to find love we encounter many obstacles. They say the path to true love never runs smoothly, and this could also be said of the path to happiness, fulfillment, and emotional freedom. As with any big goal worth reaching, the goal of finding someone to share your life with takes effort.
Much of the effort required is internal. Fine-tuning your thoughts and expectations is far more important than scouring the personal ads endlessly.
Here are some of the main obstacles that can make it hard for us to find love;
• Having unrealistic expectations. Hard as it can be to accept, life is not a movie or a fairytale. It is better. Living ‘happily ever after’ would mean missing out on all the triumphs, tragedies, joys, and sorrows that make life real and interesting. ‘Happily ever after’ is boring, and ‘Prince or Princess Charming’ does not exist. We are all human beings with flaws as well as good qualities. Waiting for the perfect partner just means missing out on the joy of getting to know a lot of potentially good partners.
• Not having clear and reasonable expectations. If you don’t know what qualities you want in a partner, you won’t know when you find someone who has them.
• Forming a relationship with somebody just because they want you to. Don’t fall into the trap of being with someone because they desperately want you to be with them. If it is not what you want too, then it is the wrong choice.
• The flip side of the above point is forming a relationship with someone that seems reluctant to be with you. If your partner is only with you because you have talked them into it, you will never feel secure. Break free and give yourself a chance of finding someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
• Not believing you are worthy of a good relationship. If you feel that you don’t deserve to be loved, respected, and treated well, you have very little chance of creating a relationship that will provide these things.
• Choosing relationships based on what you think you ‘should’ want or what other people expect. Just because you can check all the boxes in a magazine survey about the ‘right’ partner doesn’t make them right for you. Equally, just because a potential partner looks great in the eyes of your friends and family doesn’t mean that you will be happy in a relationship with them.
• Excluding potential partners based on other people’s ideas of what is right or wrong. Have you ever dismissed the possibility of a relationship based on height, age, or skin color? You could be missing some wonderful potential mates by doing this.
• Settling. Deciding to be with someone because you are afraid of being alone, or because you believe this relationship is ‘as good as it gets’ is seriously short-changing yourself. Be clear about what you want, know that you can have it, keep your mind and options open, be realistic, and don’t settle!
You can find love, and have a wonderful, fulfilling relationship. Happily ever after is just a fairytale, but true love and lasting happiness is not. Believe me, I know!
Amanda Harvey
www.choosing-life-my-way.com
Author's Bio
A native of Australia, Amanda Harvey is currently based in Taiwan. Working as a teacher, trainer, speaker, and writer, she has spent the last decade living in various countries throughout Europe and Asia.
Through her work and life experiences, Amanda has developed a strong passion for encouraging others to embrace their differences and become empowered to choose their own paths.
Finding love in an unexpected way, and overcoming the stigma of depression while learning to live a happy, healthy life, provided Amanda with enormous opportunity for personal growth.
Making alternative life choices, including living abroad and becoming a mother-of-three through interracial adoption, has shaped Amanda’s sense of purpose in life.
The key message that Amanda endeavors to share is that there is always a choice, and that the only right way to choose life is your way.
Amanda is the author of two books.
One is a self-help book entitled Freedom from Shame,Overcoming the Stigma of Depression. This book is a personal account of Amanda’s experiences of coming to terms with suffering from depression. She shares the process she developed and used to overcome the stigma and shame she experienced, and how she is now enjoying a happy healthy life, even with depression.
Amanda's other title is Not My Flesh and Blood, But My Heart and Soul. this book is a memoir telling of Amanda’s journey to motherhood through interracial adoption. The key message is her deep realization that family love can transcend all conventions and stereotypes, and that there are many ways to create a family. She declares that biology is only one way of being related.
To read more, or contact Amanda, please visit
www.choosing-life-my-way.com
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/how_to_find_love_by_changing_your_thinking.html
Being Gay is a Gift from God
"Being Gay is a gift from God. But our culture doesn't understand that, and consequently it sends messages that you are to be isolated. And Isolation is the antithesis of what all of us need. We need community, we simply cannot do spirituality or be fully alive without community" God's Gift
The above line was recently said by Rev. Ed Bacon, the rector of All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California during one of Oprah's Shows early in January. What an awesome way to start the New Year! Don't you think? I sure wish Oprah was around when I was growing up almost 40 years ago! Sure would have made things a lot easier, and chances are that hearing such statements on national television would have given me the courage I needed then to come out to my dad a lot earlier and not confess it in prayer after he had passed, leaving me feeling guilty that he never got to know me truly as I am.
As I was watching the broadcast (which I'm sure you'll be able to find by simply Googleing the words "Oprah" and "Gay") I could not help but feel a mixed sense of wonder, happiness, and sadness at the same time. Wonder because it was completely unexpected, and because it resonated in the depth of my being. Happiness because in so many ways it was a public acknowledgement by two very respected spiritual leaders with rather large followings, reaffirming something I've come to know and accept in my life after much pain and several hundreds of hours of therapy: That I was created in the image and likeness of God; that God in me, as me, is me. I felt sadness because I sensed that in so many ways, though much ground has already courageously been gained, there's so much healing that still needs to take place in the Gay and Lesbian community, not just here in South Africa, but all over the world.
So the question is where do we begin? How do we begin to heal the wounds left by years of feeling isolated, 'different' from the rest, years of being told that we are abominations, deviants, pedophiles, freaks and so many other 'labels', that unfortunately many of us started to, and eventually believed - some to the point where they have ended their life? What comes to mind is Gandhi's words "Be the change you want to see in the world." To me that translates into: be the healing, powerful, loving and self accepting gay person I want to see other gay men and women be in the world. The work starts first with oneself, then, as Rev. Ed Bacon indicates, in the community in which we live.
The path to healing can for some of us be long and painful, and for you it may take longer than you expect depending on how long you've been holding on to those 'beliefs' about homosexuality imposed by others. All healing must first begin with the full and complete acceptance of what is. That means to fully accept all that has happened in your life as a consequence of buying into those beliefs of separation without thinking about what you could have, should have, or would have done Once you've done that, then take the time to harvest all the positive that came from it. Sure there were bad moments, but certainly not all was bad. Some good things must have come from it. What good things emerged? Perhaps in order to hide your feelings of shame you learned to play an instrument or develop a skill or talent that otherwise you would not have. Perhaps you hid at the local library where you had a chance to read books you never would have found. Or perhaps, in the places that you escaped to you met wonderful, loving and supporting people that became lovers, others friends for life. Whatever that is, it helps if you write it down. Then, after you've listed all the good that was harvested from all that sense of separation and isolation, take the time to forgive. Forgiveness is one of the most underrated and powerful spiritual practices there is! All forgiveness is truly self-forgiveness, for when we forgive others we are truly healing and releasing all those thoughts, emotions, and feelings we are holding inside us about them. What do you have to forgive yourself for? Who else do you need to forgive? Your parents, church, friends, society, God? Write it down. You can write something like... "I forgive you _______ for _________. I release you and let you go. You no longer have any power over me." Forgiveness clears the path and allow for true healing to take place. Finally, ask yourself: "What new quality is now trying to emerge in me? What is seeking to be birthed? Write it down to. You see, in every seeming challenge or problem in our lives, there's always some quality which is being called forth to emerge inside of us. In my case, once I was able to forgive and truly let go of my own limited thoughts about myself, I began to feel freer, and more confident in myself, more self-accepting. Those were the qualities that were trying to emerge.
The healing we want to see in the world does truly begin with ourselves. As more of us begin to own this process, and become responsible for our own lives, our own Divinity begins to emerge, our lights to brighter shine. This in turn, allows others to do the same. By Divinity I mean all those qualities of God which we inherited when we were born: Love, Joy, Abundance, Peace, Acceptance, Harmony, Power, Giving, Creativity, the list goes on and on. As Rev. Michael B. Beckwith, spiritual director and founder of the Agape Movement said during the same Oprah Broadcast, "People don't just happen to be gay. People are born gay by Divine Right. We are the image and likeness of God, just as we are."
Gay Affirmations
Note: Gay Affirmations are provided courtesy of Mark Anthony Lord.
Author's Bio
Intent.com is a premier wellness site and supportive social network where like-minded individuals can connect and support each others' intentions. Founded by Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika Chopra, Intent.com aims to be the most trusted and comprehensive wellness destination featuring a supportive community of members, blogs from top wellness experts and curated online content relating to Personal, Social, Global and Spiritual wellness.
The above line was recently said by Rev. Ed Bacon, the rector of All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, California during one of Oprah's Shows early in January. What an awesome way to start the New Year! Don't you think? I sure wish Oprah was around when I was growing up almost 40 years ago! Sure would have made things a lot easier, and chances are that hearing such statements on national television would have given me the courage I needed then to come out to my dad a lot earlier and not confess it in prayer after he had passed, leaving me feeling guilty that he never got to know me truly as I am.
As I was watching the broadcast (which I'm sure you'll be able to find by simply Googleing the words "Oprah" and "Gay") I could not help but feel a mixed sense of wonder, happiness, and sadness at the same time. Wonder because it was completely unexpected, and because it resonated in the depth of my being. Happiness because in so many ways it was a public acknowledgement by two very respected spiritual leaders with rather large followings, reaffirming something I've come to know and accept in my life after much pain and several hundreds of hours of therapy: That I was created in the image and likeness of God; that God in me, as me, is me. I felt sadness because I sensed that in so many ways, though much ground has already courageously been gained, there's so much healing that still needs to take place in the Gay and Lesbian community, not just here in South Africa, but all over the world.
So the question is where do we begin? How do we begin to heal the wounds left by years of feeling isolated, 'different' from the rest, years of being told that we are abominations, deviants, pedophiles, freaks and so many other 'labels', that unfortunately many of us started to, and eventually believed - some to the point where they have ended their life? What comes to mind is Gandhi's words "Be the change you want to see in the world." To me that translates into: be the healing, powerful, loving and self accepting gay person I want to see other gay men and women be in the world. The work starts first with oneself, then, as Rev. Ed Bacon indicates, in the community in which we live.
The path to healing can for some of us be long and painful, and for you it may take longer than you expect depending on how long you've been holding on to those 'beliefs' about homosexuality imposed by others. All healing must first begin with the full and complete acceptance of what is. That means to fully accept all that has happened in your life as a consequence of buying into those beliefs of separation without thinking about what you could have, should have, or would have done Once you've done that, then take the time to harvest all the positive that came from it. Sure there were bad moments, but certainly not all was bad. Some good things must have come from it. What good things emerged? Perhaps in order to hide your feelings of shame you learned to play an instrument or develop a skill or talent that otherwise you would not have. Perhaps you hid at the local library where you had a chance to read books you never would have found. Or perhaps, in the places that you escaped to you met wonderful, loving and supporting people that became lovers, others friends for life. Whatever that is, it helps if you write it down. Then, after you've listed all the good that was harvested from all that sense of separation and isolation, take the time to forgive. Forgiveness is one of the most underrated and powerful spiritual practices there is! All forgiveness is truly self-forgiveness, for when we forgive others we are truly healing and releasing all those thoughts, emotions, and feelings we are holding inside us about them. What do you have to forgive yourself for? Who else do you need to forgive? Your parents, church, friends, society, God? Write it down. You can write something like... "I forgive you _______ for _________. I release you and let you go. You no longer have any power over me." Forgiveness clears the path and allow for true healing to take place. Finally, ask yourself: "What new quality is now trying to emerge in me? What is seeking to be birthed? Write it down to. You see, in every seeming challenge or problem in our lives, there's always some quality which is being called forth to emerge inside of us. In my case, once I was able to forgive and truly let go of my own limited thoughts about myself, I began to feel freer, and more confident in myself, more self-accepting. Those were the qualities that were trying to emerge.
The healing we want to see in the world does truly begin with ourselves. As more of us begin to own this process, and become responsible for our own lives, our own Divinity begins to emerge, our lights to brighter shine. This in turn, allows others to do the same. By Divinity I mean all those qualities of God which we inherited when we were born: Love, Joy, Abundance, Peace, Acceptance, Harmony, Power, Giving, Creativity, the list goes on and on. As Rev. Michael B. Beckwith, spiritual director and founder of the Agape Movement said during the same Oprah Broadcast, "People don't just happen to be gay. People are born gay by Divine Right. We are the image and likeness of God, just as we are."
Gay Affirmations
- I am gay for a powerful and purposeful reason.
- I accept my personal responsibility for being a healing force in my life, the gay community, and the world.
- I release shame and internalized homophobia from every level of my being.
- Mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually I am tuned into the vibration of deep self-love and acceptance.
- In this alignment my thoughts, words and deeds are filled with grace, clarity and power.
- How great it is to be gay! I am FABULOUS . . . it's just true!
Note: Gay Affirmations are provided courtesy of Mark Anthony Lord.
Author's Bio
Intent.com is a premier wellness site and supportive social network where like-minded individuals can connect and support each others' intentions. Founded by Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika Chopra, Intent.com aims to be the most trusted and comprehensive wellness destination featuring a supportive community of members, blogs from top wellness experts and curated online content relating to Personal, Social, Global and Spiritual wellness.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/being_gay_is_a_gift_from_god.html
Law of Attraction and Homosexuality
An email from a troubled young man asked, "Is Law of Attraction not working for me because I'm gay?" He went on to say that his life was “doomed no matter what” because of the “sinful” nature of his sexuality. He even mentioned that few of his gay and lesbian associates have successful relationships. My answer to him was that the law of attraction works the same for everyone and that he is only doomed for as long as his thoughts are dooming him.
This young man was, unintentionally of course, resisting the joyful life that is his birthright. He was creating an awful existence for himself. Why? Because he didn’t know any better. Whole groups of people, not just homosexuals, respond to the negative messages of parents, teachers, religious leaders, and society by internalizing what they have been taught. In other words, the things that they’ve been told become their dominant thoughts (or beliefs). And the Law of Attraction will always send thoughts and circumstances that are a vibrational match to your beliefs.
At a workshop in 1999, Abraham Hicks said “there is nothing that you can do that is worse for yourself, than to do something that you believe is inappropriate. And so, get clear and happy about whichever choice you make because it is your contradiction that causes the majority of the contradiction in vibration.” This statement couldn’t be more perfect.
If you spend decades listening as people that you love or respect tell you that you are bad, evil, wrong, and on a path to hell, you may begin to feel that you are bad, evil, wrong, and on a path to hell. And when you begin to believe such things, you’ll experience quite a hellish existence on this Earth. Harboring negative beliefs about yourself is damaging to you and to anyone who gets involved in a relationship with you.
With this understanding, it is clear why the letter-writer notices so many unhappy gay and lesbian relationships. People who believe that their sexuality is “sinful” and their relationships are wrong will have a very hard time creating a stable, joyful bond with their partner. The law of attraction works in such a way that you experience exactly what you allow yourself to believe.
I’d like to offer a few words of advice to gays, lesbians, and anyone else who is struggling with living outside of the expectations of others.
* Come to terms with who you are.
When you learn that you are a magnificent Being whose existence is important to the expansion of this great Universe, you will stop being affected by what others say or think of you. When you realize that you are a powerful creator whose every thought is creating life experience, you will cease to doubt yourself in response to those who condemn you. When you learn to love yourself as Source (or God) loves you, you will benefit from the positive energy that flows within rather than withering from the negative words of those who don’t understand you.
* Consider a new belief system.
Although you may have been taught under a certain religious modality, you are free to choose what you will believe. If you can’t bring yourself to break the family religious tradition, at least learn to benefit from the positive parts of that faith while leaving the negative, fire and brimstone teachings for those who want to attract such monstrosities in their lives. Your parents, teachers, pastors, and priests are mostly well-intentioned, but they cannot properly make choices for you. You are born with an innate sense of your own truth. And if honoring what you feel to be true for you does not line up with the belief system under which you’ve been taught, you have a decision to make. Will you follow your Inner Guidance toward what is right for you? Or will you do what is right for others by following their teachings even if it leads you to think so poorly of yourself that you repeatedly attract negative life experiences? The choice is yours, so choose wisely.
* Practice awareness. Be conscious of your Inner Being.
You were born with the only tool that you’ll ever need for a successful life—your Inner Being. Living without conscious awareness of this powerful inner guidance is a handicap that afflicts most people who have been taught to get their guidance from others. Whether or not you are aware of it, this spiritual you IS the larger part of who you are. And the larger part of who you are will always do two things: call you toward a joyful life and let you know when you are on track. The problems come when you ignore your Inner Being in favor of what you hear, see, and learn in your physical world.
Your emotions are your evidence of how much you are in (or out of) alignment with your Inner Being, how you are vibrating, and what the law of attraction is bringing to you. You will enjoy positive emotion when you align with your Inner Being and the Law of Attraction will respond with manifestations of your desires. When your thoughts and actions are out of alignment with that spiritual part of you, you will feel negative emotion. And as you offer that low vibration of unhappiness or misery, you will attract undesirable circumstances that breed even more misery.
In order to tell the difference between the “voice” of your Inner Being and the subconscious trash that you’ve accumulated over your lifetime, start a spiritual growth journey. It will take some practice to become accustomed to noticing the spiritual part of yourself if you’ve spent your life only observing what can be detected with your physical senses, but simple practices like meditation are a great start.
Begin by dedicating a few minutes each day to developing your sixth sense. Calm down! That doesn’t mean you should see “dead” people. But it does mean that you should become aware of the fact that there is much more to you than this physical body. As you become more and more aware of who you really are, you will stop looking for answers outside of yourself.
* Start appreciating.
It can be difficult to know that there is something about you that is very different from others, even more-so when you’re frowned upon or judged by those that you love. But it does not serve you to be angry with those who are homophobic. It also doesn’t serve you to fear hell, to resist what is natural for you, or to feel guilty about not following the script given to you by your society. Feelings of guilt, anger, shame, and fear have very low vibrations, thus they will hinder you from living the joyful life that is your destiny. In order to attract a life filled with great relationships, emotional stability, financial abundance, and overwhelming internal joy, the majority of your thoughts must be of a higher vibration. To start allowing law of attraction to manifest your ideal life,replace the negative thoughts with those of appreciation and love. Here are a few statements about these issues, written from a compassionate, appreciative, loving point of view:
o Source loves me just as I am, so I love me just as I am.
o They can’t help how they feel about gay people—they are only doing what they think is right
o My parents and my pastor simply want to pass on a tradition that they believe in—they mean well and I appreciate their intention
o Now that I feel good about myself, the Universe will send the most magnificent partner my way for a fairytale romance
o Being different is actually quite fun—I now enjoy standing out from the crowd
In the words of Joseph Campbell, “follow your bliss.” Discover yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself, and free yourself. The result will be a wonderful life transformation that defies all understanding.
Copyright © 2009 Attraction Saga
Author's Bio
Nea Joy is the founder and author of the Attraction Saga Law of Attraction-based website. She specializes in teaching the art of joyful living through spiritual growth and deliberate use of the Universal law of attraction.
Enhance your life today by visiting http://attractionsaga.com for free articles, tips, and resources.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/law_of_attraction_and_homosexuality.html
This young man was, unintentionally of course, resisting the joyful life that is his birthright. He was creating an awful existence for himself. Why? Because he didn’t know any better. Whole groups of people, not just homosexuals, respond to the negative messages of parents, teachers, religious leaders, and society by internalizing what they have been taught. In other words, the things that they’ve been told become their dominant thoughts (or beliefs). And the Law of Attraction will always send thoughts and circumstances that are a vibrational match to your beliefs.
At a workshop in 1999, Abraham Hicks said “there is nothing that you can do that is worse for yourself, than to do something that you believe is inappropriate. And so, get clear and happy about whichever choice you make because it is your contradiction that causes the majority of the contradiction in vibration.” This statement couldn’t be more perfect.
If you spend decades listening as people that you love or respect tell you that you are bad, evil, wrong, and on a path to hell, you may begin to feel that you are bad, evil, wrong, and on a path to hell. And when you begin to believe such things, you’ll experience quite a hellish existence on this Earth. Harboring negative beliefs about yourself is damaging to you and to anyone who gets involved in a relationship with you.
With this understanding, it is clear why the letter-writer notices so many unhappy gay and lesbian relationships. People who believe that their sexuality is “sinful” and their relationships are wrong will have a very hard time creating a stable, joyful bond with their partner. The law of attraction works in such a way that you experience exactly what you allow yourself to believe.
I’d like to offer a few words of advice to gays, lesbians, and anyone else who is struggling with living outside of the expectations of others.
* Come to terms with who you are.
When you learn that you are a magnificent Being whose existence is important to the expansion of this great Universe, you will stop being affected by what others say or think of you. When you realize that you are a powerful creator whose every thought is creating life experience, you will cease to doubt yourself in response to those who condemn you. When you learn to love yourself as Source (or God) loves you, you will benefit from the positive energy that flows within rather than withering from the negative words of those who don’t understand you.
* Consider a new belief system.
Although you may have been taught under a certain religious modality, you are free to choose what you will believe. If you can’t bring yourself to break the family religious tradition, at least learn to benefit from the positive parts of that faith while leaving the negative, fire and brimstone teachings for those who want to attract such monstrosities in their lives. Your parents, teachers, pastors, and priests are mostly well-intentioned, but they cannot properly make choices for you. You are born with an innate sense of your own truth. And if honoring what you feel to be true for you does not line up with the belief system under which you’ve been taught, you have a decision to make. Will you follow your Inner Guidance toward what is right for you? Or will you do what is right for others by following their teachings even if it leads you to think so poorly of yourself that you repeatedly attract negative life experiences? The choice is yours, so choose wisely.
* Practice awareness. Be conscious of your Inner Being.
You were born with the only tool that you’ll ever need for a successful life—your Inner Being. Living without conscious awareness of this powerful inner guidance is a handicap that afflicts most people who have been taught to get their guidance from others. Whether or not you are aware of it, this spiritual you IS the larger part of who you are. And the larger part of who you are will always do two things: call you toward a joyful life and let you know when you are on track. The problems come when you ignore your Inner Being in favor of what you hear, see, and learn in your physical world.
Your emotions are your evidence of how much you are in (or out of) alignment with your Inner Being, how you are vibrating, and what the law of attraction is bringing to you. You will enjoy positive emotion when you align with your Inner Being and the Law of Attraction will respond with manifestations of your desires. When your thoughts and actions are out of alignment with that spiritual part of you, you will feel negative emotion. And as you offer that low vibration of unhappiness or misery, you will attract undesirable circumstances that breed even more misery.
In order to tell the difference between the “voice” of your Inner Being and the subconscious trash that you’ve accumulated over your lifetime, start a spiritual growth journey. It will take some practice to become accustomed to noticing the spiritual part of yourself if you’ve spent your life only observing what can be detected with your physical senses, but simple practices like meditation are a great start.
Begin by dedicating a few minutes each day to developing your sixth sense. Calm down! That doesn’t mean you should see “dead” people. But it does mean that you should become aware of the fact that there is much more to you than this physical body. As you become more and more aware of who you really are, you will stop looking for answers outside of yourself.
* Start appreciating.
It can be difficult to know that there is something about you that is very different from others, even more-so when you’re frowned upon or judged by those that you love. But it does not serve you to be angry with those who are homophobic. It also doesn’t serve you to fear hell, to resist what is natural for you, or to feel guilty about not following the script given to you by your society. Feelings of guilt, anger, shame, and fear have very low vibrations, thus they will hinder you from living the joyful life that is your destiny. In order to attract a life filled with great relationships, emotional stability, financial abundance, and overwhelming internal joy, the majority of your thoughts must be of a higher vibration. To start allowing law of attraction to manifest your ideal life,replace the negative thoughts with those of appreciation and love. Here are a few statements about these issues, written from a compassionate, appreciative, loving point of view:
o Source loves me just as I am, so I love me just as I am.
o They can’t help how they feel about gay people—they are only doing what they think is right
o My parents and my pastor simply want to pass on a tradition that they believe in—they mean well and I appreciate their intention
o Now that I feel good about myself, the Universe will send the most magnificent partner my way for a fairytale romance
o Being different is actually quite fun—I now enjoy standing out from the crowd
In the words of Joseph Campbell, “follow your bliss.” Discover yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself, and free yourself. The result will be a wonderful life transformation that defies all understanding.
Copyright © 2009 Attraction Saga
Author's Bio
Nea Joy is the founder and author of the Attraction Saga Law of Attraction-based website. She specializes in teaching the art of joyful living through spiritual growth and deliberate use of the Universal law of attraction.
Enhance your life today by visiting http://attractionsaga.com for free articles, tips, and resources.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/law_of_attraction_and_homosexuality.html
The Top 10 Things to do on a GREEN DATE
Having a green lifestyle in general is very important to most of us, so why not take it a step further and make sure that your dating lifestyle is also green.
Here are 10 great, green dating ideas:
• Green Volunteerism! Spend time learning and talking about causes or issues that are most important to you and your date/mate. You both are most likely to be inspired, turned on, and energized, by volunteering for something you believe in. For example, look in your neighborhood newspaper together and find out when local organizations are doing habitat restoration projects, feeding the homeless or having a fundraising dinner for the local environmental agency. Start locally and as the relationship evolves, you can expand your volunteering together, nationally or globally.
• Plan a green camping trip. Leave the city, phones, computers, ipods behind, and embrace nature. Quiet time spent in the woods promotes deep conversation and getting to know one another. Don’t use plastic or paper throw-away products and do dishes together out of a sudsy bucket using green, biodegradable dishwashing soap. Play a game of sexy strip poker by candle light. Try some constellation identification and bring a musical instrument to play at night (even if you don’t know how to play!).
• Bike or walk to a community festival or fair. Paint each others’ faces with plant-based paints, flirt with each other as you sway to the sounds of local music.
• Learn about the indigenous people in your area. Research the natural history of your community together. For example, take a hike and focus only on medicinal or edible plants, or research and attend a local, Native American powwow.
• Romance with candlelight and poetry. Bring a blanket, find a quiet spot (even your living room floor will do) and read excerpts from one of America’s first green poets, Henry David Thoreau. Share with each other what inspires and touches you.
• Make homemade artwork together. Use recycled paper and natural plant dyes to make one of a kind, green works of art. Use in a scrapbook with your first date pictures or write romantic love letters on.
• Organic wine tasting. Take your hybrid car to your nearest organic wine tasting event. Sample and support the work of sustainable and green agriculture. If you’d like, book at the nearest Bed and Breakfast within walking distance. Spend time in nature with a bottle of wine from your favorite organic vineyard and listen to a stream or go for a relaxing hike.
• Get dressed up and head out to your local car dealerships. Test drive and research all the hybrids and/or electric vehicles available. After working up an appetite, end the night at your favorite organic restaurant. Remember to bring your own “to-go” container!
• Have a green summer party! Introduce your special someone to your friends and family, and show them what you stand for by being green. BBQ with 100% natural, additive-free charcoal (try Cowboy Charcoal or Greenlink Charcoal) or use gas or electric for a more environmentally friendly option. Choose organic, free range meats or go vegetarian. Portabella mushrooms are a great burger substitute! Use regular dishes, glass cups and cloth napkins. Go to a thrift store and buy an extra set of cheap dishes and napkins just for BBQ’s and casual parties. Play games like bochi ball on a grass lawn or charades.
• Go on a hike and picnic. Pack a couple of backpacks with an organic gourmet lunch for two. Use Camelbacks if you are going on a more strenuous hike (backpacks with water bladders and drinking tubes). When you reach your destination, find a nice rock to sit on and whip out the picnic. Feed each other grapes, mangos and organic, ginger beer. Enjoy the peace and tranquility of nature and each other’s company. If there is a lake, ocean or stream, take a dip and lie in the sun.
Have fun!
Author's Bio
Jill Crosby is the owner/founder of the largest exclusively spiritual/conscious dating site on the Internet, SpiritualSingles.com, originated in 1998 and launched in 1999. It’s is free to join, browse and reply. www.SpiritualSingles.com
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/the_top_10_things_to_do_on_a_green_date.html
Here are 10 great, green dating ideas:
• Green Volunteerism! Spend time learning and talking about causes or issues that are most important to you and your date/mate. You both are most likely to be inspired, turned on, and energized, by volunteering for something you believe in. For example, look in your neighborhood newspaper together and find out when local organizations are doing habitat restoration projects, feeding the homeless or having a fundraising dinner for the local environmental agency. Start locally and as the relationship evolves, you can expand your volunteering together, nationally or globally.
• Plan a green camping trip. Leave the city, phones, computers, ipods behind, and embrace nature. Quiet time spent in the woods promotes deep conversation and getting to know one another. Don’t use plastic or paper throw-away products and do dishes together out of a sudsy bucket using green, biodegradable dishwashing soap. Play a game of sexy strip poker by candle light. Try some constellation identification and bring a musical instrument to play at night (even if you don’t know how to play!).
• Bike or walk to a community festival or fair. Paint each others’ faces with plant-based paints, flirt with each other as you sway to the sounds of local music.
• Learn about the indigenous people in your area. Research the natural history of your community together. For example, take a hike and focus only on medicinal or edible plants, or research and attend a local, Native American powwow.
• Romance with candlelight and poetry. Bring a blanket, find a quiet spot (even your living room floor will do) and read excerpts from one of America’s first green poets, Henry David Thoreau. Share with each other what inspires and touches you.
• Make homemade artwork together. Use recycled paper and natural plant dyes to make one of a kind, green works of art. Use in a scrapbook with your first date pictures or write romantic love letters on.
• Organic wine tasting. Take your hybrid car to your nearest organic wine tasting event. Sample and support the work of sustainable and green agriculture. If you’d like, book at the nearest Bed and Breakfast within walking distance. Spend time in nature with a bottle of wine from your favorite organic vineyard and listen to a stream or go for a relaxing hike.
• Get dressed up and head out to your local car dealerships. Test drive and research all the hybrids and/or electric vehicles available. After working up an appetite, end the night at your favorite organic restaurant. Remember to bring your own “to-go” container!
• Have a green summer party! Introduce your special someone to your friends and family, and show them what you stand for by being green. BBQ with 100% natural, additive-free charcoal (try Cowboy Charcoal or Greenlink Charcoal) or use gas or electric for a more environmentally friendly option. Choose organic, free range meats or go vegetarian. Portabella mushrooms are a great burger substitute! Use regular dishes, glass cups and cloth napkins. Go to a thrift store and buy an extra set of cheap dishes and napkins just for BBQ’s and casual parties. Play games like bochi ball on a grass lawn or charades.
• Go on a hike and picnic. Pack a couple of backpacks with an organic gourmet lunch for two. Use Camelbacks if you are going on a more strenuous hike (backpacks with water bladders and drinking tubes). When you reach your destination, find a nice rock to sit on and whip out the picnic. Feed each other grapes, mangos and organic, ginger beer. Enjoy the peace and tranquility of nature and each other’s company. If there is a lake, ocean or stream, take a dip and lie in the sun.
Have fun!
Author's Bio
Jill Crosby is the owner/founder of the largest exclusively spiritual/conscious dating site on the Internet, SpiritualSingles.com, originated in 1998 and launched in 1999. It’s is free to join, browse and reply. www.SpiritualSingles.com
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/the_top_10_things_to_do_on_a_green_date.html
Impacts of Sexual Dysfunction on Man’s Life
Sexual dysfunction is the condition in men, it occurs when men are unable to get the erection or hold the erection for the sufficient amount of time during the sexual intercourse. Sexual dysfunction has a considerable impact on social as well as personal life of men. Individuals suffering from the sexual dysfunction are more deeply shocked than generally realized. The masculinity and self esteem of men suffering from sexual dysfunction is being particularly affected. The cause may either be psychogenic, physical or both of them; its effect is the same. Their sense of masculinity is battered with profound effects on their feeling of worth to their partner and also in the workplace. Previous studies on sexual dysfunction and men behavior, do suggest that sexual dysfunction or Impotence has a considerable psychological and social effect. For example, the Sexual Dysfunction Association found that 65% of participants in their online survey felt that sexual dysfunction reduced their self esteem, 31% said their relationships had been affected. And 25% reported that their relationship had ended as a direct consequence. The impact is compounded by considerable social stigma, with sexual dysfunction as a source of jokes, limiting the extent to which men with sexual dysfunction can confide in others or approach health professionals for treatment. Worries and depression are the consequences of sexual dysfunction. It shows a negative result in the work field and also in one’s social relationship. One feels as if he is the only one who suffers from sexual dysfunction. It’s because generally people don’t discuss about the topic with anyone. To avoid the impacts of sexual dysfunction, one has to make up his mindset so that he should think there are many other people suffering from sexual dysfunction and he is not the only one. Of course, there is nothing to suppose, it’s a fact. And anyone from any point of time can turn impotent after a certain age. So being away from all the negative notions, he has to go and consult with his doctor about the same problem. People don’t consult with their doctors about the same problem, because they either feel embarrassed to talk about their sexual dysfunction or they think there is no treatment, so consulting is of no use. They will definitely get rid of all their worries soon after they come to know that the problem they are going through is not permanent in nature and they can recover it as soon as they want. There are so many types of medications for the treatment of sexual dysfunction available that one can have numerous options. He can choose the option that his doctor suggests suitable for him. Low cost drugs are an inexpensive way through which one can get rid of sexual dysfunction and his worries about losing his masculinity. So let’s get out of the tensed thoughts. You deserve a much better life. One disorder can’t make you turn weak. Science and technology have improved a lot. Educate yourself about them. And surely you can avoid the impacts of sexual dysfunction on your life.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/sexuality-articles/impacts-of-sexual-dysfunction-on-mans-life-1071359.html
About the Author:
Hi I am Steve Marshal Caldwell. I work as an associate editor.
I am committed to provide visitors with complete information on Sexual Health Medicines and Men's Health Drugs , and latest news in the pharmaceutical sector.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/sexuality-articles/impacts-of-sexual-dysfunction-on-mans-life-1071359.html
About the Author:
Hi I am Steve Marshal Caldwell. I work as an associate editor.
I am committed to provide visitors with complete information on Sexual Health Medicines and Men's Health Drugs , and latest news in the pharmaceutical sector.
The Steps to Forgiveness
"Forgiveness involves letting go and surrender of judgment and condemnation. With compassion, we can help others become aware of their divine nature and become lovers instead of haters. Most of all, we must not forget to forgive ourselves. We can give up the victim mentality and become victors instead. If we look through our spiritual eyes, we can stop judging and truly forgive. If we stop resisting life so much, we will stop feeling like a victim and creating a life of drama where we constantly need to forgive. That is so freeing!" Patty Hayes
To forgive does not mean we agree with or condone inappropriate behavior, it means we are willing to let go, move on or free ourselves from the burden of resentment. Forgiveness can be exhibited in many ways and can be accomplished with or without the offender present. Below are some steps to consider when considering forgiveness.
1) A) Journal or write about your feelings, what happened and let it all out. This your personal experience so just put it all down in whatever manner makes you feel good! B) If you're not a writer, find an objective person who can listen to you without giving their opinion unless it is asked for by you. Then talk it out. C) If you have spiritual connection to some greater power you can pray about it.
2) Look at your side of the event, disagreement, problem. How did you participate, do you have anything to "clean up". "Clean up" means taking responsibility for your part in the issues, disagreement or problem. It is often helpful to look at how you may do things differently next time, so you can learn from this experience.
3) Consider if you are even willing to forgive yet. If not I would recommend that you take some steps to work through the underlying feelings you are still carrying around, such as anger, hurt or a myriad of other emotions. If you are unwilling go back to step 1 and repeat until you feel willingness beginning to emerge.
4) Make the decision to forgive anyone involved in the situation. Don't forget yourself if you need it too. Decide if you need to say or write anything to anyone involved to get your feelings out and be heard. The person you are forgiving does not need to be willing or present for you to complete this process. You can ask an objective person to be on the receiving end if you don't feel safe or comfortable going to the person who you are upset with. You can visualize that you are speaking to that person when you are speaking to a friend or objective listener.
5) Let go! Keep in mind you are choosing to forgive, if you are holding on to a belief that the other person has to do something before you'll forgive you are choosing to remain stuck. If you find situations re-stimulating the old feelings of hurt you may need to repeat step 1.
If you need any assistance with the process of forgiveness please feel free to e-mail me or call me.
Author's Bio
Allison is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in individual, couples and family therapy, and maintains a private practice in Pasadena & Monrovia, California.
With over five years experience as a therapist, and a graduate of Phillips Graduate Institute specializing in working with Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered issues, anxiety, depression, codependency, and grief & loss, she is currently serving as a private practitioner working with a broad spectrum of clients.
Allison is an interactive, humanistic, solution-focused therapist. Her therapeutic approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. She integrates complimentary methodologies and techniques to offer a highly personalized approach tailored to each client. With compassion and understanding, she works with each individual to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth they’re striving for in their lives.
Education
Master's Degree in Psychology -MFT
License, Certifications & Awards
License Number MFT 46004
Pupil Personnel Services Credential
Additional Training
Social skills and violence prevention
Professional Activities and Memberships
American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists - Clinical Member
California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists - Licensed Member
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Steps_to_Forgiveness.html
To forgive does not mean we agree with or condone inappropriate behavior, it means we are willing to let go, move on or free ourselves from the burden of resentment. Forgiveness can be exhibited in many ways and can be accomplished with or without the offender present. Below are some steps to consider when considering forgiveness.
1) A) Journal or write about your feelings, what happened and let it all out. This your personal experience so just put it all down in whatever manner makes you feel good! B) If you're not a writer, find an objective person who can listen to you without giving their opinion unless it is asked for by you. Then talk it out. C) If you have spiritual connection to some greater power you can pray about it.
2) Look at your side of the event, disagreement, problem. How did you participate, do you have anything to "clean up". "Clean up" means taking responsibility for your part in the issues, disagreement or problem. It is often helpful to look at how you may do things differently next time, so you can learn from this experience.
3) Consider if you are even willing to forgive yet. If not I would recommend that you take some steps to work through the underlying feelings you are still carrying around, such as anger, hurt or a myriad of other emotions. If you are unwilling go back to step 1 and repeat until you feel willingness beginning to emerge.
4) Make the decision to forgive anyone involved in the situation. Don't forget yourself if you need it too. Decide if you need to say or write anything to anyone involved to get your feelings out and be heard. The person you are forgiving does not need to be willing or present for you to complete this process. You can ask an objective person to be on the receiving end if you don't feel safe or comfortable going to the person who you are upset with. You can visualize that you are speaking to that person when you are speaking to a friend or objective listener.
5) Let go! Keep in mind you are choosing to forgive, if you are holding on to a belief that the other person has to do something before you'll forgive you are choosing to remain stuck. If you find situations re-stimulating the old feelings of hurt you may need to repeat step 1.
If you need any assistance with the process of forgiveness please feel free to e-mail me or call me.
Author's Bio
Allison is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in individual, couples and family therapy, and maintains a private practice in Pasadena & Monrovia, California.
With over five years experience as a therapist, and a graduate of Phillips Graduate Institute specializing in working with Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered issues, anxiety, depression, codependency, and grief & loss, she is currently serving as a private practitioner working with a broad spectrum of clients.
Allison is an interactive, humanistic, solution-focused therapist. Her therapeutic approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. She integrates complimentary methodologies and techniques to offer a highly personalized approach tailored to each client. With compassion and understanding, she works with each individual to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth they’re striving for in their lives.
Education
Master's Degree in Psychology -MFT
License, Certifications & Awards
License Number MFT 46004
Pupil Personnel Services Credential
Additional Training
Social skills and violence prevention
Professional Activities and Memberships
American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists - Clinical Member
California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists - Licensed Member
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Steps_to_Forgiveness.html
Panic Attacks - The Truth & The Lies
If someone has told you that anxiety and panic attacks require coping mechanisms and anxiety management and that a cure is impossible - they are so, so, very wrong!
If someone tells you that medication and psychotherapy are the solution - they are also very, very wrong!
Let me tell you the truth about panic attacks.
Panic attacks or anxiety attacks, are the result of you developing a level of inappropriate anxiety at which Adrenalin, the hormone responsible for the anxiety reaction, is not used up by either fighting or fleeing from a potential danger. This over-spill of adrenalin can cause you to experience, sometimes, extreme and often distressing physical and psychological symptoms. While disturbing, they are completely harmless.
Panic attacks sufferers can also be subjected to what are called 'limited symptom panic attacks' during which, maybe as few as three or four symptoms are experienced.
But most panic attacks produce, sometimes, overwhelming symptoms and thoughts that make the sufferer believe that they are, in some way, ill, about to pass out or even die!
None of which will actually ever happen!
Panic attacks make the sufferer feel very vulnerable as the heart races and the thoughts of either going mad or dying wash over them. BUT, actually, during a panic attack a sufferer is at their strongest, their fastest and their most prepared for danger.
Panic attacks develop because adrenalin, the hormone responsible for the fight or fight response to potential threats, is released into the blood stream. This hormone is very useful if and when, it is required appropriately, but, when adrenalin is released during an anxiety disorder, there is no 'real' threat present, so it is not used up by either running from or fighting the threat.
This build up of Adrenalin causes the heart to race, the breathing to quicken and the digestive system to slow down; these systems then produce unpleasant symptoms like dizziness, sweating, palpitations, shortness of breath and many other physical sensations. The sufferer also starts to experience anxious thought patterns... 'what if' thoughts which can make them feel like they are losing their mind. Often these thoughts ask:
What if I kill X
What if I harm my kids
What if I jump off X
What if I pick up this knife and X
What if I am gay?
What if I do X to Y?
The list of inappropriate thoughts fuelled by the flight or fight response is long… but we have heard every single thought from our clients, believe me!
After a while, adrenalin is used up by the body and symptoms start to reduce, but the next panic attack develops faster the next time, as the benchmark anxiety level has been ‘pushed up another notch’. The fear of the next panic attack causes the sufferer to enter into a cycle of fear and anxiety which is hard to break.
Or is it?
The anxiety control center in the brain produces these ‘what if’ thoughts as a way of detecting danger. It sends out messages to the sensory organs (nose, ears, mouth, skin, eyes) to send back data about your environment in order to assess any risk. Of course, in anxiety disorders, there is no REAL risk present to be frightened of, but the sensory organs detect the anxiety symptoms in your body… this data is fed back to the anxiety control center of the brain and THESE SYMPTOMS are assessed as risk.
This causes the anxiety control center to react with adrenalin release, which causes more symptoms… these are interpreted as risk and the cycle continues!
In essence, you are scaring yourself!
There are three types of panic attacks (anxiety attacks), they are:
Spontaneous Panic Attacks
Spontaneous panic attacks happen without warning and are not associated to any external catalysts. Spontaneous panic attacks are unpredictable and can vary in intensity and usually result in the sufferer developing agoraphobia and limiting their geographic movements.
Specific Panic Attacks
Specific panic attacks happen when the sufferer is exposed to something which they know always causes them to panic. For example, some people may panic in a crowded place or when they see a dog or any other phobic catalyst. Specific panic attacks can also cause the sufferer to withdraw and even develop agoraphobia as a coping mechanism to prevent exposure to the things they fear.
Situational Panic Attacks
Situational panic attacks happen more if the sufferer is agoraphobic. Agoraphobia causes the sufferer to fear public places, crowds or even traveling away from a place or person of security, so it is easy to see why situational panic attacks occur mostly amongst agoraphobia sufferers.
Situational panic attacks happen more frequently on planes, on buses, in elevators and in cars than anywhere else.
Panic Attack Symptoms
Panic attacks may present both physical and psychological symptoms, including:
* Disturbed thoughts
* Feelings of impending doom
* Shortness of breath
* Chest pains
* Stomach cramps or diarrhea
* Racing heart
* Dizziness or faintness
* Tingling in the extremities
* Muscle pains
* Sweating
* and many others...
In fact, the anxiety symptoms list can be very long indeed for most. The symptoms above form the core or most commonly reported symptoms.
It is important to bear in mind that every one of us is built physiologically differently so these panic attack symptoms aren't going to be the same for every individual.
After the peak of the panic attack has subsided, the sufferer can be left feeling weak, tired, confused, emotional and achy. It is very important to understand that panic attack symptoms and adrenalin release, give the body a workout, like running or going to the gym. The aches and pains are inevitable side effects!
Actually, your heart is being strengthened by panic attack symptoms; the heart is a muscle and like any other muscle in your body, the exercise is good for it!
So, what is the solution to panic attacks?
OK, THIS IS VITAL:
The ONLY way to eliminate an anxiety disorder is to reverse its formation! There is NO OTHER solution. Every single recovered anxiety sufferer in the world has done exactly this.
Medication and therapy are not the solution!
In ancient times, do you think people had therapists and medication for anxiety? No, of course not... so how did they recover?
They became anxiety free by replicating a natural process that adjusts the anxiety levels back to normal!
By mimicking the exact same process that all recovered anxiety sufferers have followed to become anxiety free, you can completely and permanently eliminate anxiety disorders!
How do I know? Because I have proven this over 125,000 times with anxious clients from around the world AND I have done it myself!
FACT - By sending an ‘I’m safe’ message back to the anxiety control center, you can ERASE your anxiety disorder quickly and permanently!
Whether you have been diagnosed with anxiety, panic, stress or depression, my program makes stopping panic attacks and all of the associated symptoms very simple indeed. Because panic attacks are caused by an inappropriate anxiety reaction caused by artificially increased anxiety levels and an over production of adrenalin, by reversing the formation of the high anxiety, you can completely it.
"When I discovered how I could actually reverse what I had done to develop panic attacks in the first place, my world changed. I literally switched them off. I have described and explained this same technique tens of thousands of times to my clients from around the world and as soon as they 'get it', their panic attacks stop too!
The Linden Method provides a structured program which will show you exactly what you must do to achieve total panic attacks elimination. Used by tens of thousands of recovered sufferers, The Linden Method outlines the exact route taken by every recovered anxiety and panic attack sufferer – all I do, is make the whole process as simple, structured and direct as possible by providing you with a 'roadmap to wellness'.
Through helping so many thousands of clients and initially curing my own anxiety using this process, I developed a program which is acknowledged to be THE solution to anxiety, panic attacks, OCD and phobias by doctors and psychologists world over; and it used in private practice and by government health organizations and clinics world over.
I hope you allow us the opportunity to help you to recover fully using my Method.
I GUARANTEE anxiety and panic attacks elimination
I GUARANTEE your recovery
All we need is the opportunity to lead you to complete freedom from panic and anxiety.
"Panic attacks are simply accentuated versions of natural bodily reactions; remember, they CAN NOT harm you in any way. I will show you how panic attacks, phobias and all your fearful sensations and emotions can be erased."
Charles Linden
Link from article: http://www.panic-anxiety.com/ultimate-guide/
Author's Bio
Apart from providing support and counselling to anxiety sufferers through 'The Linden Method', I also work in private practice with anxiety disorder sufferers through The Linden Centers.
My 'Method' took seven years to develop and is now, not only, becoming recognised as THE drug free solution to anxiety disorders by government bodies, but is also receiving referrals from psychologists, doctors, psychiatrists, health authorities, insurance companies and other organisations from around the world.
I am also a regular contributor to printed publications such as Natural Health, Women, Women's Own, Pick Me Up, About.com, Top Santé, OK magazine and anxiety disorder websites. I contribute to BBC radio and I am also chairman of the International Association of Anxiety Management.
Additional Resources covering Panic Attacks can be found at:
Charles Linden, the Official Guide to Panic Attacks
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Panic_Attacks_-_The_Truth_The_Lies.html
If someone tells you that medication and psychotherapy are the solution - they are also very, very wrong!
Let me tell you the truth about panic attacks.
Panic attacks or anxiety attacks, are the result of you developing a level of inappropriate anxiety at which Adrenalin, the hormone responsible for the anxiety reaction, is not used up by either fighting or fleeing from a potential danger. This over-spill of adrenalin can cause you to experience, sometimes, extreme and often distressing physical and psychological symptoms. While disturbing, they are completely harmless.
Panic attacks sufferers can also be subjected to what are called 'limited symptom panic attacks' during which, maybe as few as three or four symptoms are experienced.
But most panic attacks produce, sometimes, overwhelming symptoms and thoughts that make the sufferer believe that they are, in some way, ill, about to pass out or even die!
None of which will actually ever happen!
Panic attacks make the sufferer feel very vulnerable as the heart races and the thoughts of either going mad or dying wash over them. BUT, actually, during a panic attack a sufferer is at their strongest, their fastest and their most prepared for danger.
Panic attacks develop because adrenalin, the hormone responsible for the fight or fight response to potential threats, is released into the blood stream. This hormone is very useful if and when, it is required appropriately, but, when adrenalin is released during an anxiety disorder, there is no 'real' threat present, so it is not used up by either running from or fighting the threat.
This build up of Adrenalin causes the heart to race, the breathing to quicken and the digestive system to slow down; these systems then produce unpleasant symptoms like dizziness, sweating, palpitations, shortness of breath and many other physical sensations. The sufferer also starts to experience anxious thought patterns... 'what if' thoughts which can make them feel like they are losing their mind. Often these thoughts ask:
What if I kill X
What if I harm my kids
What if I jump off X
What if I pick up this knife and X
What if I am gay?
What if I do X to Y?
The list of inappropriate thoughts fuelled by the flight or fight response is long… but we have heard every single thought from our clients, believe me!
After a while, adrenalin is used up by the body and symptoms start to reduce, but the next panic attack develops faster the next time, as the benchmark anxiety level has been ‘pushed up another notch’. The fear of the next panic attack causes the sufferer to enter into a cycle of fear and anxiety which is hard to break.
Or is it?
The anxiety control center in the brain produces these ‘what if’ thoughts as a way of detecting danger. It sends out messages to the sensory organs (nose, ears, mouth, skin, eyes) to send back data about your environment in order to assess any risk. Of course, in anxiety disorders, there is no REAL risk present to be frightened of, but the sensory organs detect the anxiety symptoms in your body… this data is fed back to the anxiety control center of the brain and THESE SYMPTOMS are assessed as risk.
This causes the anxiety control center to react with adrenalin release, which causes more symptoms… these are interpreted as risk and the cycle continues!
In essence, you are scaring yourself!
There are three types of panic attacks (anxiety attacks), they are:
Spontaneous Panic Attacks
Spontaneous panic attacks happen without warning and are not associated to any external catalysts. Spontaneous panic attacks are unpredictable and can vary in intensity and usually result in the sufferer developing agoraphobia and limiting their geographic movements.
Specific Panic Attacks
Specific panic attacks happen when the sufferer is exposed to something which they know always causes them to panic. For example, some people may panic in a crowded place or when they see a dog or any other phobic catalyst. Specific panic attacks can also cause the sufferer to withdraw and even develop agoraphobia as a coping mechanism to prevent exposure to the things they fear.
Situational Panic Attacks
Situational panic attacks happen more if the sufferer is agoraphobic. Agoraphobia causes the sufferer to fear public places, crowds or even traveling away from a place or person of security, so it is easy to see why situational panic attacks occur mostly amongst agoraphobia sufferers.
Situational panic attacks happen more frequently on planes, on buses, in elevators and in cars than anywhere else.
Panic Attack Symptoms
Panic attacks may present both physical and psychological symptoms, including:
* Disturbed thoughts
* Feelings of impending doom
* Shortness of breath
* Chest pains
* Stomach cramps or diarrhea
* Racing heart
* Dizziness or faintness
* Tingling in the extremities
* Muscle pains
* Sweating
* and many others...
In fact, the anxiety symptoms list can be very long indeed for most. The symptoms above form the core or most commonly reported symptoms.
It is important to bear in mind that every one of us is built physiologically differently so these panic attack symptoms aren't going to be the same for every individual.
After the peak of the panic attack has subsided, the sufferer can be left feeling weak, tired, confused, emotional and achy. It is very important to understand that panic attack symptoms and adrenalin release, give the body a workout, like running or going to the gym. The aches and pains are inevitable side effects!
Actually, your heart is being strengthened by panic attack symptoms; the heart is a muscle and like any other muscle in your body, the exercise is good for it!
So, what is the solution to panic attacks?
OK, THIS IS VITAL:
The ONLY way to eliminate an anxiety disorder is to reverse its formation! There is NO OTHER solution. Every single recovered anxiety sufferer in the world has done exactly this.
Medication and therapy are not the solution!
In ancient times, do you think people had therapists and medication for anxiety? No, of course not... so how did they recover?
They became anxiety free by replicating a natural process that adjusts the anxiety levels back to normal!
By mimicking the exact same process that all recovered anxiety sufferers have followed to become anxiety free, you can completely and permanently eliminate anxiety disorders!
How do I know? Because I have proven this over 125,000 times with anxious clients from around the world AND I have done it myself!
FACT - By sending an ‘I’m safe’ message back to the anxiety control center, you can ERASE your anxiety disorder quickly and permanently!
Whether you have been diagnosed with anxiety, panic, stress or depression, my program makes stopping panic attacks and all of the associated symptoms very simple indeed. Because panic attacks are caused by an inappropriate anxiety reaction caused by artificially increased anxiety levels and an over production of adrenalin, by reversing the formation of the high anxiety, you can completely it.
"When I discovered how I could actually reverse what I had done to develop panic attacks in the first place, my world changed. I literally switched them off. I have described and explained this same technique tens of thousands of times to my clients from around the world and as soon as they 'get it', their panic attacks stop too!
The Linden Method provides a structured program which will show you exactly what you must do to achieve total panic attacks elimination. Used by tens of thousands of recovered sufferers, The Linden Method outlines the exact route taken by every recovered anxiety and panic attack sufferer – all I do, is make the whole process as simple, structured and direct as possible by providing you with a 'roadmap to wellness'.
Through helping so many thousands of clients and initially curing my own anxiety using this process, I developed a program which is acknowledged to be THE solution to anxiety, panic attacks, OCD and phobias by doctors and psychologists world over; and it used in private practice and by government health organizations and clinics world over.
I hope you allow us the opportunity to help you to recover fully using my Method.
I GUARANTEE anxiety and panic attacks elimination
I GUARANTEE your recovery
All we need is the opportunity to lead you to complete freedom from panic and anxiety.
"Panic attacks are simply accentuated versions of natural bodily reactions; remember, they CAN NOT harm you in any way. I will show you how panic attacks, phobias and all your fearful sensations and emotions can be erased."
Charles Linden
Link from article: http://www.panic-anxiety.com/ultimate-guide/
Author's Bio
Apart from providing support and counselling to anxiety sufferers through 'The Linden Method', I also work in private practice with anxiety disorder sufferers through The Linden Centers.
My 'Method' took seven years to develop and is now, not only, becoming recognised as THE drug free solution to anxiety disorders by government bodies, but is also receiving referrals from psychologists, doctors, psychiatrists, health authorities, insurance companies and other organisations from around the world.
I am also a regular contributor to printed publications such as Natural Health, Women, Women's Own, Pick Me Up, About.com, Top Santé, OK magazine and anxiety disorder websites. I contribute to BBC radio and I am also chairman of the International Association of Anxiety Management.
Additional Resources covering Panic Attacks can be found at:
Charles Linden, the Official Guide to Panic Attacks
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Panic_Attacks_-_The_Truth_The_Lies.html
Why to stop smoking?
Smoking can have deadly impact on the smoker and so it is essential to stop smoking . Smokers are vulnerable to about 600 kinds of cancers, including lung cancer and so it is necessary to stop smoking as soon as possible. Smokers can increase savings by quitting smoking because the rates of cigarettes are going sky high these days. One can enjoy the pleasure of living longer and enjoying special relations such as grandchildren by stopping smoking. Smokers can boost up their sexual performance by stopping smoking.
Smoking can cause wrinkles on the face of smokers and can make the smoker look frustrated and tensed. Stopping smoking can improve the face value and personality of the smokers. One can boost up confidence level by stopping smoking as getting out of an addiction is the toughest task and it requires stronger will power. If a chain smoker person can stop smoking then he/she can combat any other hardship of life. One can lead a truthful life after stopping smoking and the ex-smokers need not lie from their family for smoking.
Smoking can lead to bad breath and so one should opt for other alternatives over smoking. Smokers can chew cinnamon sticks or chewing gums whenever they crave for smoking. One can notice increased body stamina after quitting smoking and can exercise for longer duration. Quitting smoking habit can make the ex-smokers to enjoy with their pets such as cats who can incur emphysema by the smoke of cigarette. Quitting smoking can make the ex-smokers to cough less.
Smoking can lead to yellow teeth which look bad when a person is talking or smiling. The topmost reason for stopping smoking is that it can lead to respiratory diseases such as asthma to those who live with smokers especially children. Smokers are vulnerable to breathing troubles which can lead them in a situation where they have to inhale by the means of a nasal tube.
Chain smokers usually get nicotine fits and by flushing off the nicotine from the body, smokers can start a new healthy life. Nicotine in the body can severely harm the unborn child of pregnant ladies and so they should stop smoking as early as possible. Nicotine can lead to infant death syndrome by which the fetus can die before birth. Smokers can enjoy improved metabolism and digestive functioning by the stopping smoking. One can also make the environment pollution free by stopping smoking.
By: michaelrussell56
The author of the article is Michael Russel providing information on the types of cancer that can be prevented by those who stop smoking. He also guides chain smokers on tips and techniques on how to stop smoking.
Words Cast Spells: The Power of Reframing and Renaming
My path-ology report came back and showed that my nodes were clear. However, the cancer was more aggressive than they first thought and it had penetrated into two thirds of the uterine wall (making it Stage 1C, Grade 3). The doctor said there is a 25% risk of recurrence. I asked him,”Since I don’t have a uterus anymore, where would the cancer go?” He said, “Anywhere.”
That scared me; an image came to mind of marauding terrorist cells that had eluded the doctor’s scalpel and were cunningly roaming my body, looking for a place to set up camp and wreak more havoc.
Then I quickly reframed that. I can see how the increased risk is perfect - it keeps me awake, on my toes, bright eyed, bushy tailed, and motivated to continue with the healing life changes I have made: the vibrant diet, daily meditation, deep breathing, and enjoying my moment-to-moment game of TAG – Trust, Acceptance, and Gratitude. (TAG, I’m it – I choose what I want to focus on and generate.)
I am aware that words and images shape and color our world, they mold it like play doh. “Words cast spells, that’s why they call it spelling.” How we think of things and picture them creates a cellular response in our bodies. It is self-hypnosis. When hypnotized, our body can raise a blister if we’re touched with an ice cube and told that it’s a blazing hot coal.
Our thoughts can create heaven or hell, depending on where we’re choosing to dwell. These thoughts create feelings of well-being, or of being stuck in a well. They also create chemicals in our body, such as feel-good endorphins, or the stress hormone cortisol. We literally are walking laboratories, and our thoughts are the chemists.
Words and images also impact our immune system and ability to heal. A friend of Tom’s told him that she had cancer a few years ago and was in two cancer support groups. There were people in the groups who had an attitude of being at war and battling their cancer. Other people had an attitude of wanting to learn and grow and explore what their cancer brought up for them. In her experience, those were the people who tended to survive, while the ones who were at war did not.
Someone told me that they don’t use the word cancer, instead they call it aberrant cells. I’ve been playing with other names like waker uppers, I openers, shadows, fungi (some people believe that cancer is a fungus). How about fun guy? There’s a woman who calls hers crazy, sexy cancer (and wrote a book with that title).
My Cancer experience has opened my eyes big time in so many ways - therefore, I have decided to call it The Big See! I See the world with new eyes, big bright baby eyes. I See that I have more courage than I thought. I See the love of friends and family. I See that my life is purposeful and things happen for a reason. I See that life is finite and spirit is infinite. I See that it’s all about love.
I invite all of you as you go through your day today to eavesdrop on yourselves. What thoughts are you dwelling on? What chemicals are you cooking up in your body lab? What is ready to be reframed and renamed in your life?
Author's Bio
Jan Jacobsen has been on a 35-year learning journey. She has completed a 2-year training in Hakomi, a mind/body approach which advocates that healing happens when we bring loving presence to what is. She has also apprenticed for two years with Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks (authors of Conscious Loving), learning skills to make love real and fun. Her thriving relationship with her husband Tom is a testament to the effectiveness and value of those skills.
Jan recently got a diagnosis of The Big SEE, quit her job and decided to write, which she does with authority, passion, humor, and great insights.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Words_Cast_Spells_The_Power_of_Reframing_and_Renaming.html
That scared me; an image came to mind of marauding terrorist cells that had eluded the doctor’s scalpel and were cunningly roaming my body, looking for a place to set up camp and wreak more havoc.
Then I quickly reframed that. I can see how the increased risk is perfect - it keeps me awake, on my toes, bright eyed, bushy tailed, and motivated to continue with the healing life changes I have made: the vibrant diet, daily meditation, deep breathing, and enjoying my moment-to-moment game of TAG – Trust, Acceptance, and Gratitude. (TAG, I’m it – I choose what I want to focus on and generate.)
I am aware that words and images shape and color our world, they mold it like play doh. “Words cast spells, that’s why they call it spelling.” How we think of things and picture them creates a cellular response in our bodies. It is self-hypnosis. When hypnotized, our body can raise a blister if we’re touched with an ice cube and told that it’s a blazing hot coal.
Our thoughts can create heaven or hell, depending on where we’re choosing to dwell. These thoughts create feelings of well-being, or of being stuck in a well. They also create chemicals in our body, such as feel-good endorphins, or the stress hormone cortisol. We literally are walking laboratories, and our thoughts are the chemists.
Words and images also impact our immune system and ability to heal. A friend of Tom’s told him that she had cancer a few years ago and was in two cancer support groups. There were people in the groups who had an attitude of being at war and battling their cancer. Other people had an attitude of wanting to learn and grow and explore what their cancer brought up for them. In her experience, those were the people who tended to survive, while the ones who were at war did not.
Someone told me that they don’t use the word cancer, instead they call it aberrant cells. I’ve been playing with other names like waker uppers, I openers, shadows, fungi (some people believe that cancer is a fungus). How about fun guy? There’s a woman who calls hers crazy, sexy cancer (and wrote a book with that title).
My Cancer experience has opened my eyes big time in so many ways - therefore, I have decided to call it The Big See! I See the world with new eyes, big bright baby eyes. I See that I have more courage than I thought. I See the love of friends and family. I See that my life is purposeful and things happen for a reason. I See that life is finite and spirit is infinite. I See that it’s all about love.
I invite all of you as you go through your day today to eavesdrop on yourselves. What thoughts are you dwelling on? What chemicals are you cooking up in your body lab? What is ready to be reframed and renamed in your life?
Author's Bio
Jan Jacobsen has been on a 35-year learning journey. She has completed a 2-year training in Hakomi, a mind/body approach which advocates that healing happens when we bring loving presence to what is. She has also apprenticed for two years with Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks (authors of Conscious Loving), learning skills to make love real and fun. Her thriving relationship with her husband Tom is a testament to the effectiveness and value of those skills.
Jan recently got a diagnosis of The Big SEE, quit her job and decided to write, which she does with authority, passion, humor, and great insights.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Words_Cast_Spells_The_Power_of_Reframing_and_Renaming.html
3 Flirting Body Language Signs of Attraction
During pre-historic times, humans already have a way of applying flirting body language to show the opposite sex that they like what they see. Of course, we were a bit more frank then, and the codes were easier to decipher. Nowadays, we have already learned the art of subtlety, which makes the whole thing more challenging and exciting.
Over the years, man’s flirting body language has evolved into something more mysterious. We have even forgotten our ancestors’ direct-to-the-point ways - only using those skills on a purely unconscious level. Below are some examples to help you along.
Flirting Body Language # 1: The Hand That Feeds You
Some people like to flirt with others by feeding them fruit or a bit of cake from their own hand or utensil. Usually, this practice is done by lovers. However, more guys and girls are now starting to adopt the sweet gesture and use it to their advantage.
Of course, this flirting body language sign of attraction can also backfire. For one, it can surprise them if they are suddenly being offered the spoon. Such instances can result in awkwardness. If you find yourself unable to eat from the other person’s fork, simply take the utensil for yourself to avoid embarrassment.
Flirting Body Language # 2: Preening Material
When a woman leans in close to fix a man’s tie, there is a high probability that she is flirting with him. This flirting body language sign of attraction implies that she wants that man to look his best and that she wants to do that for him alone - to nurture and protect him.
Men also have their own version of the tie-fixing action. Notice that they often tuck a few stray strands of a woman’s hair behind her ear or simply let their fingers glide through them.
Flirting Body Language # 3: Goodnight Kiss
Friends or acquaintances who kiss you goodnight could also be a flirting body language sign of attraction. These people would like to know you better and would like to step over their usual boundaries.
It could be a light peck on the cheek or perhaps even a kiss on your hand. While guys tend to be more daring, girls are also stealing their share of kisses as well.
Flirting body language has certainly developed over the years - and not surprisingly so. After all, man has evolved from convening in caves to meeting up in bars and parties. It’s time for you to open your eyes and look to the future as well.
Author's Bio
Discover how to easily captivate the opposite sex with secret flirting body language tricks and conversational hypnosis techniques. Grab your FREE course that reveals 10 groundbreaking persuasion secrets at 20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/3_Flirting_Body_Language_Signs_of_Attraction.html
Over the years, man’s flirting body language has evolved into something more mysterious. We have even forgotten our ancestors’ direct-to-the-point ways - only using those skills on a purely unconscious level. Below are some examples to help you along.
Flirting Body Language # 1: The Hand That Feeds You
Some people like to flirt with others by feeding them fruit or a bit of cake from their own hand or utensil. Usually, this practice is done by lovers. However, more guys and girls are now starting to adopt the sweet gesture and use it to their advantage.
Of course, this flirting body language sign of attraction can also backfire. For one, it can surprise them if they are suddenly being offered the spoon. Such instances can result in awkwardness. If you find yourself unable to eat from the other person’s fork, simply take the utensil for yourself to avoid embarrassment.
Flirting Body Language # 2: Preening Material
When a woman leans in close to fix a man’s tie, there is a high probability that she is flirting with him. This flirting body language sign of attraction implies that she wants that man to look his best and that she wants to do that for him alone - to nurture and protect him.
Men also have their own version of the tie-fixing action. Notice that they often tuck a few stray strands of a woman’s hair behind her ear or simply let their fingers glide through them.
Flirting Body Language # 3: Goodnight Kiss
Friends or acquaintances who kiss you goodnight could also be a flirting body language sign of attraction. These people would like to know you better and would like to step over their usual boundaries.
It could be a light peck on the cheek or perhaps even a kiss on your hand. While guys tend to be more daring, girls are also stealing their share of kisses as well.
Flirting body language has certainly developed over the years - and not surprisingly so. After all, man has evolved from convening in caves to meeting up in bars and parties. It’s time for you to open your eyes and look to the future as well.
Author's Bio
Discover how to easily captivate the opposite sex with secret flirting body language tricks and conversational hypnosis techniques. Grab your FREE course that reveals 10 groundbreaking persuasion secrets at 20daypersuasion.com/secrets.htm
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/3_Flirting_Body_Language_Signs_of_Attraction.html
10 Texting Rules for Dating Singles – Texting Guidelines and Dating Etiquette
I believe the growing preference for texting has a lot to do with its impersonal nature. It’s much easier to launch a new relationship by exchanging texts than it is to talk. It’s also very easy to say and do things over a screen that one would never have the nerve to do face to face (or say ear to ear). That would make things easier I suppose, but it also creates new problems. A large part of communication is non-verbal. When texting, the other party cannot receive those fine nuances of communication such as tone of voice, held back giggles, excited breathing, or body language that demonstrates anxiety, happiness or growing irritation.
Texting it seems, is here to stay, but there needs to be some rules in place. After listening to dozens of complaints from friends, coworkers, and family about their relationships and texting, I came up with "10 Texting Rules For Dating Singles."
#1 Do Share Updates or Ask for Simple Instructions. On your way but missed your train? Texting to update your date on your revised arrival time is a considerate thing to do. On your way to the store and can’t remember what you are supposed to pick up for dinner at her place? Receiving a texted shopping list can be a life and relationship saver! Had a great first date? Texting the day after to say, "Wow, I had a really great time with you!" is a low key, no pressure way to express appreciation for someone’s time.
#2 Never Text While on a Date. You’d think everyone would know this already, but I guess common sense ain’t real common! Texting while in a face-to-face conversation is just as rude as blabbing away on a call. If you’re on a date and you want to see that person again, don’t sit there texting (or Twittering) the whole time, or part of the time, or even at all. That includes your best friend trying to sneakily find out how things are going, the Masters of Electronically Transmitted Whining (the kids), or an angry ex who saw you and your date in the restaurant parking lot. Manners and courtesy must reign supreme.
#3 Texts Should Never Replace Real Conversation. Texting is only for transmitting unimportant information or short and simple messages, not an in-depth conversation. More than four texts in a row… it’s time to pick up the phone. Middle aged fingers and hands cramp easily, okay!? Oh, and if you notice that you are having most of your relationship via texting, you need to move things along to the face to face level or just end it.
#4 Does Anyone Care But You? Do not send text after text describing your every move, every conversation, or every thought. The fact that your coworker was late for the 10th time this month is of no importance to anyone but you. Get it? Unless what you are texting involves the recipient in some manner, and is very urgent (or at least a funny joke to break up our day), then don’t send a text.
#5 Do Not Send Compromising Photos. Are people these days crazy? What in the world is going on with this "sexting" stuff? Why would females send pictures of naked body parts (including their genitalia) over cell phones? Young ladies, not only is such behavior classless, it’s ridiculously dangerous. And if the sender or receiver of a sexually oriented text is a minor, it’s also illegal. The long-term repercussions of this type of loose attitude about one’s body has concerned me for a long time. Women are likely to be humiliated to discover that they are the brunt of jokes, as guys will often share the sexy texts they get from random women with their buddies and have a good laugh.
#6 If You’ve Been Drinking, Back Away From the Keypad! People will say and do things with firewater in their systems that they would NEVER do if sober. What types of things have I heard you ask? Sexual invitations to people known to have no interest, fights from months ago renewed with vigor due to unresolved anger, personal questions asked and personal information volunteered in a straight bonehead move. Though alcohol doesn’t put ideas into our heads, a little booze definitely relaxes the constraints we have in place on our mouths and evidently our fingers.
#7 Don’t Expect Instant Gratification. Do not get upset if you don’t get a reply back within seconds of sending a text. People over the age of 25 usually have full-time jobs, families, and things to do that involve their hands, including cooking, typing, and driving. They’ll return your communication with a text or a phone call when they can. One should also remember that technology is great, but not perfect. I’ve sent texts that didn’t arrive at their destination for 45 minutes to several hours! I’ve also had the same problem with receiving transmissions sent to me by others.
#8 Always Be Aware of Your "Tone of Voice" and Communication Style. It’s difficult to discern the sender’s tone in text messages, just as it is in e-mail. What may be meant as humorous sarcasm, or a completely innocuous message to you may be easily misinterpreted by the recipient of your text. Such miscommunication can cause hurt feelings and unnecessary tension, and require an unbelievable amount of apologizing and explaining to fix. In some instances it will cost you the relationship. Watch the shorthand and acronyms as well. Not everyone is up on the textn lingo neway, and yr msg may leave sum1 scratching their head in confusion sayn L8tr4u vs ROFLMBAO.
#9 Asking for Dates by Text is a No-No. Texting to set-up a date is bogus! Have the courage to speak up and risk rejection like a big boy or girl. Yeah, I know you’re a recent returnee to the dating scene, talking to someone you don’t know well feels awkward, and asking for a date when you might hear "no!" is scary. But one of the top qualities singles seek is a confident partner that goes after what he or she wants. Confident, secure people have an air about them that is very sexy… passive, hesitant, insecure people do not.
#10 Do Not Break It Off By Text. Neither do you use Twitter, Facebook, AIM, My Space, MSN messenger, email or fax. Use of any form of informal, emotionally disconnected electronic communication to dump someone is chickenshit. Not only is it immature, it’s just plain rude. If you opt to treat other people in such a way, don’t be surprised when your text is put on blast and ends up on Twitter, Facebook, My Space and every message forum in the world. Be an adult whydontcha, and tell people via phone (at least) that you two are not a match and you’re moving on.
Text messaging isn't necessarily a tool of the devil, but there can be quite a bit of misinterpretation and miscommunication if not used correctly. Texting is a great way to stay connected to someone you are madly in love with, and a useful tool to touch base with casual or new dating partners. However, texting is not and never will be a replacement for a heart-felt telephone conversation full of sighs and laughter.
Author's Bio
(c)2009 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has written dozens of articles on dating and relationships, and served as the resident advice columnist on AskHeartBeat! (www.askheartbeat.com) since 1997. She is also the author of the hilarious dating guide "Sucka Free Love! How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged!", and blogs regularly on topics of interest to single adults 35 and over on Living The Single Life: Surviving Dating at http://www.survivingdating.com.
This article may be reposted on your blog or website with full bio information and links as set out above. Please trackback to http://survivingdating.com/?p=291
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/10_texting_rules_for_dating_singles_%E2%80%93_texting_guidelines_and_dating_etiquette.html
Texting it seems, is here to stay, but there needs to be some rules in place. After listening to dozens of complaints from friends, coworkers, and family about their relationships and texting, I came up with "10 Texting Rules For Dating Singles."
#1 Do Share Updates or Ask for Simple Instructions. On your way but missed your train? Texting to update your date on your revised arrival time is a considerate thing to do. On your way to the store and can’t remember what you are supposed to pick up for dinner at her place? Receiving a texted shopping list can be a life and relationship saver! Had a great first date? Texting the day after to say, "Wow, I had a really great time with you!" is a low key, no pressure way to express appreciation for someone’s time.
#2 Never Text While on a Date. You’d think everyone would know this already, but I guess common sense ain’t real common! Texting while in a face-to-face conversation is just as rude as blabbing away on a call. If you’re on a date and you want to see that person again, don’t sit there texting (or Twittering) the whole time, or part of the time, or even at all. That includes your best friend trying to sneakily find out how things are going, the Masters of Electronically Transmitted Whining (the kids), or an angry ex who saw you and your date in the restaurant parking lot. Manners and courtesy must reign supreme.
#3 Texts Should Never Replace Real Conversation. Texting is only for transmitting unimportant information or short and simple messages, not an in-depth conversation. More than four texts in a row… it’s time to pick up the phone. Middle aged fingers and hands cramp easily, okay!? Oh, and if you notice that you are having most of your relationship via texting, you need to move things along to the face to face level or just end it.
#4 Does Anyone Care But You? Do not send text after text describing your every move, every conversation, or every thought. The fact that your coworker was late for the 10th time this month is of no importance to anyone but you. Get it? Unless what you are texting involves the recipient in some manner, and is very urgent (or at least a funny joke to break up our day), then don’t send a text.
#5 Do Not Send Compromising Photos. Are people these days crazy? What in the world is going on with this "sexting" stuff? Why would females send pictures of naked body parts (including their genitalia) over cell phones? Young ladies, not only is such behavior classless, it’s ridiculously dangerous. And if the sender or receiver of a sexually oriented text is a minor, it’s also illegal. The long-term repercussions of this type of loose attitude about one’s body has concerned me for a long time. Women are likely to be humiliated to discover that they are the brunt of jokes, as guys will often share the sexy texts they get from random women with their buddies and have a good laugh.
#6 If You’ve Been Drinking, Back Away From the Keypad! People will say and do things with firewater in their systems that they would NEVER do if sober. What types of things have I heard you ask? Sexual invitations to people known to have no interest, fights from months ago renewed with vigor due to unresolved anger, personal questions asked and personal information volunteered in a straight bonehead move. Though alcohol doesn’t put ideas into our heads, a little booze definitely relaxes the constraints we have in place on our mouths and evidently our fingers.
#7 Don’t Expect Instant Gratification. Do not get upset if you don’t get a reply back within seconds of sending a text. People over the age of 25 usually have full-time jobs, families, and things to do that involve their hands, including cooking, typing, and driving. They’ll return your communication with a text or a phone call when they can. One should also remember that technology is great, but not perfect. I’ve sent texts that didn’t arrive at their destination for 45 minutes to several hours! I’ve also had the same problem with receiving transmissions sent to me by others.
#8 Always Be Aware of Your "Tone of Voice" and Communication Style. It’s difficult to discern the sender’s tone in text messages, just as it is in e-mail. What may be meant as humorous sarcasm, or a completely innocuous message to you may be easily misinterpreted by the recipient of your text. Such miscommunication can cause hurt feelings and unnecessary tension, and require an unbelievable amount of apologizing and explaining to fix. In some instances it will cost you the relationship. Watch the shorthand and acronyms as well. Not everyone is up on the textn lingo neway, and yr msg may leave sum1 scratching their head in confusion sayn L8tr4u vs ROFLMBAO.
#9 Asking for Dates by Text is a No-No. Texting to set-up a date is bogus! Have the courage to speak up and risk rejection like a big boy or girl. Yeah, I know you’re a recent returnee to the dating scene, talking to someone you don’t know well feels awkward, and asking for a date when you might hear "no!" is scary. But one of the top qualities singles seek is a confident partner that goes after what he or she wants. Confident, secure people have an air about them that is very sexy… passive, hesitant, insecure people do not.
#10 Do Not Break It Off By Text. Neither do you use Twitter, Facebook, AIM, My Space, MSN messenger, email or fax. Use of any form of informal, emotionally disconnected electronic communication to dump someone is chickenshit. Not only is it immature, it’s just plain rude. If you opt to treat other people in such a way, don’t be surprised when your text is put on blast and ends up on Twitter, Facebook, My Space and every message forum in the world. Be an adult whydontcha, and tell people via phone (at least) that you two are not a match and you’re moving on.
Text messaging isn't necessarily a tool of the devil, but there can be quite a bit of misinterpretation and miscommunication if not used correctly. Texting is a great way to stay connected to someone you are madly in love with, and a useful tool to touch base with casual or new dating partners. However, texting is not and never will be a replacement for a heart-felt telephone conversation full of sighs and laughter.
Author's Bio
(c)2009 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has written dozens of articles on dating and relationships, and served as the resident advice columnist on AskHeartBeat! (www.askheartbeat.com) since 1997. She is also the author of the hilarious dating guide "Sucka Free Love! How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional & The Deranged!", and blogs regularly on topics of interest to single adults 35 and over on Living The Single Life: Surviving Dating at http://www.survivingdating.com.
This article may be reposted on your blog or website with full bio information and links as set out above. Please trackback to http://survivingdating.com/?p=291
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/10_texting_rules_for_dating_singles_%E2%80%93_texting_guidelines_and_dating_etiquette.html
Hugs...The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
We all have crushes. Sometimes they are innocent...like when you're in 3rd Grade. And sometimes they are not as innocent...like when you're married and lust for another. Can you relate?
In my book Yeah Dave's Guide to Livin' the Moment (which launched today--March 17), there's a chapter sharing a fool-proof way to determine if the other person reciprocates your crush. The video above this text (also seen by clicking here) is based on that chapter and teaches how to decipher the body language of a hug.
So the next time you have a crush, keep it simple. Let a good hug be your saving grace. What you can never tell from another's face, you can tell from their embrace.
By David Romanelli (www.yeahdave.com)
I invite you to check out my book and get a taste for some lighthearted fun + feel-good inspiration in these dark times. Think irreverent humor (aka Saturday Night Live) fused with heartfelt insight (aka Eckhart Tolle) mixed with a touch of Cheech and Chong..
Author's Bio
Intent.com
Intent.com is a premier wellness site and supportive social network where like-minded individuals can connect and support each others' intentions. Founded by Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika Chopra, Intent.com aims to be the most trusted and comprehensive wellness destination featuring a supportive community of members, blogs from top wellness experts and curated online content relating to Personal, Social, Global and Spiritual wellness.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/hugsthe_good_bad_and_ugly.html
In my book Yeah Dave's Guide to Livin' the Moment (which launched today--March 17), there's a chapter sharing a fool-proof way to determine if the other person reciprocates your crush. The video above this text (also seen by clicking here) is based on that chapter and teaches how to decipher the body language of a hug.
So the next time you have a crush, keep it simple. Let a good hug be your saving grace. What you can never tell from another's face, you can tell from their embrace.
By David Romanelli (www.yeahdave.com)
I invite you to check out my book and get a taste for some lighthearted fun + feel-good inspiration in these dark times. Think irreverent humor (aka Saturday Night Live) fused with heartfelt insight (aka Eckhart Tolle) mixed with a touch of Cheech and Chong..
Author's Bio
Intent.com
Intent.com is a premier wellness site and supportive social network where like-minded individuals can connect and support each others' intentions. Founded by Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika Chopra, Intent.com aims to be the most trusted and comprehensive wellness destination featuring a supportive community of members, blogs from top wellness experts and curated online content relating to Personal, Social, Global and Spiritual wellness.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/hugsthe_good_bad_and_ugly.html
Powerful smoking alternatives
Electronic cigarette is the best smoking alternative . One can purchase these cigarettes from a nearby electronic store at almost the rates similar or lower to real cigarettes. One of the most alluring features of electronic cigarettes is that they can be reused by recharging their battery with the charger attached with them. These cigarettes are cent percent smoke free and prevent the environment from getting polluted. The smoke free cigarettes are growing exclusively popular among chain smokers who are unable to resist the cravings of a cigarette. These cigarettes exclude ill health effects and are absolutely a safe way to kick out smoking from the life.
Rigorous exercising is another powerful alternative to smoking. Smokers can change their exercise schedule and can go for a brisk walk in the morning time instead of having cigarettes after the morning breakfast. Most of the men are used to smoking after having dinner and it can be a better option to go for a stroll with children after having dinner as children can make men too engaged to smoke. Oat extracts are other powerful alternative to fight smoking habit as these extracts are prescribed by herbalists to get rid of smoking habits. Chewing gums are the best means to engage mouth thereby reducing the cravings of cigarette.
Opting for cinnamon tea is also the best means available to fight smoking. Smokers should drink at least two three liters of water daily as it can help them to flush away the harmful extracts such as nicotine from the body. The cravings for cigarette will automatically decrease after the nicotine level in the body becomes nil. One can opt for passion games, such as tennis or computer games at the time when the craving for cigarettes becomes irresistible. Yoga exercises, such as deep breathing can be highly effective alternatives for combating smoking. Brisk walking twice a day preferably in early morning and at late evening can also help the smoker get rid of smoking addiction.
Conversation is an effective smoking alternative and the smokers are advised to engage themselves in an online or telephone conversation whenever they develop craving for cigarettes. Most of the people smoke because of tension in personal and professional life but one must understand that talking and sharing stress with a loved one is much more relieving than smoking at the time of stressful situation. Smokers are advised to opt for alternatives, such as playing with pet, washing up the car, cleaning the cupboard, taking nap, lighting up candles and any and every thing that can give you pleasure while keeping you busy.
By: michaelrussell56
The author of this article dealing with smoking alternative is Michael Russell. He has complete knowledge of the best smoking substitutes that can help the smokers quit smoking. The author has acquired complete expertise and experience that can help smokers to quit smoking and live a healthy life.Gay Dating - Top 10 Excuses For Ditching Your Date
Top Ten Excuses For Getting Out Of A Date
Here are some wonderful excuses for dumping the bloke of your nightmares .. use all 10 if you have to.
10. I cant i'm washing my wig.
9. The dog has been suffering from the cold and I really think we both need to spend some quality time alone.
8. I'm off to work abroad on thursday but I`ll be back in eight decades, why don't I text you then.
7. My friend is going to be on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and I'm her phone a friend and you know what the programmes are like, they could call at any time.
6. I have work commitments for the following 2 months but I will give you a email at the end of it.
5. My daughter is coming to stay for a few weeks so don't call me I'll call you. Our gay dating can wait
4. I think I'm coming down with the flu, and I don't want to give it to you.
3. Sorry I dont think we are a match
2. No way I would rather kiss my mum
1. I don't think I'm ready for dating just yet.
By: Martyn White
Fundamentals of a Successful Relationship: A Marriage Counselors’ Perspective
Have you ever wondered how ‘that couple’ stayed together all those years? What is it they are doing right? What are the things that contribute to the success of healthy long term relationships? There are a few fundamental things that will improve the chances of a relationships success. Those things include; 1) fighting fairly, 2) healthy communication, 3) similar core values/desires, 4) willingness to compromise, 5) expressing your love and appreciating each other, and most importantly, 6) mutual commitment.
1) Fighting Fairly
To begin, one must understand one of the most basic rules of getting along with others. Every relationship has arguments; they are a natural part of all relationships. But how you choose to engage in those arguments is a key factor in whether your relationship will withstand the test of time. You and your relationships benefit tremendously if you learn how to “fight fairly”. What does it mean to fight fairly?
If you are the type to pull punches below the belt, name calling, screaming or using a threatening tone, bringing in another person for their opinion, drudging up past history or slipping in that sarcastic comment just because you know it will hurt the other person than you are not fighting fairly. Some behaviors or interpersonal patterns must be decidedly eliminated from your relationships if you wish to have a healthier relationship.
Fighting fairly includes, taking time out if you need time to cool off before discussing issues with your significant other. It also entails healthy communication, willingness to compromise, and discussing items of conflict without withdrawing physically or shutting down emotionally. Can you touch your significant others hand when your discussing something where you feel conflict? Or do you pull yourself away the minute a conflict arises.
2) Healthy Communication
Avoid absolute language like “always” and “never”. It means using “I” statements that describe your feelings instead of “you” statements that often make the other person feel attacked.
For example, instead of saying to your significant other, “you always come home late, you never think about me?”, you could say, “I feel worried (fill in your feeling) when you (fill in your significant others behavior as objectively as you can) come home late without calling and I would like you to (what do you want or need) call if you are going to be late.” It is important to understand that we must express what we need and take a look at our expectations to see if they are reasonable and fair. If expectations are continually not met than something is not working in the area of compromise or your core values/desires are significantly different and outside help may be needed.
3) Similar Core Values/Desires
A critical component to a successful relationship is determining if you and your significant other have similar core values and desires. If you want kids and your honey doesn’t have the slightest interest in children you want to find this out early. If one of you wants to live in the city and one of you wants to live in the country and neither of you is willing to compromise this match may not be made in heaven. If you believe in undying honesty and your significant other thinks lying is acceptable behavior you may be dealing with some of the more critical “deal breakers”.
It is important to clarify the big issues and identify if there are any core values or desires that are vastly different and can’t be worked through. If you go into the relationship seeing these red flags and think “I’ll deal with it later” it is a recipe for disaster. By definition a “deal breaker” is something you believe you absolutely must have in your relationship to be happy. Each person has to figure out what their deal breakers are before they can actively decide if a relationship will work or not. It is mostly about knowing what you want in life and in your relationships.
Some other topics to consider when evaluating core values and desires are to look at how each of your view and feel about the following topics such as; money, raising children, sex or sexual issues, division of labor/chores, how you like to spend your off time, monogamy, friendship, commitment, trust, substance use or abuse, anger management and styles of handling anger, and most of all do you both believe in or want a long term relationship.
4) Willingness to Compromise
There are many times where compromise plays a significant role in a successful relationship. If you want one thing and your significant other wants something else, there are times when you both could benefit the relationship by meeting the need of your significant other. It is important to ask yourself, is this something I can compromise on?
The way you choose to think about your chosen compromises can help or hinder the relationship. If you choose resignation “Ugh, I have to go to this party because my significant other wants to” versus acceptance “I am choosing to go with my significant other to this party because it is important to him or her”. Just by virtue of choosing the way you frame the thought, you are influencing your feelings about the situation. Many of the perceived deal breakers may not be deal breakers at all if you have good communication with your significant other and can talk things out throughout the relationship you may find very amicable solutions to your differences.
One of the biggest questions you must ask yourselves when you are in relationship, is it more important to be right or happy? Sometimes it can be as easy as letting go of the need to the one in the relationship who is “right”. One question to consider when deciding if you are willing to compromise on an issue is, “will this matter to me in five years”, if you find the answer is no it maybe easier to find your way to compromising in that scenario.
5) Expressing Your Love and Appreciating Each Other
The research suggests that couples that demonstrate their affection and love towards one another are more successful. Particularly appropriate when they can demonstrate affection and maintain a positive connection to their significant other when in the middle of conflict. This is much easier said than done, but it can be learned and it is definitely worth attempting to incorporate into your work towards being a successful couple.
Focus on what you love about each other. Catch your significant other doing things that you appreciate and let them know how much you appreciate those things. Find special moments in the day to share your love and appreciation with one another and you will find you continue to discover more to love and appreciate. It is important you remember what it was that attracted you to each other talk about those things that you find loveable, kind, warm, fun, sexy and attractive. When you are feeling a momentary lack of love, do something kind for your significant other getting out of your own head and into being of service. A little bit of gratitude goes a very long way. If you sneak a peek at your honey doing something you really love, tell them! Express gratitude in every way possible.
6) Mutual Commitment
This one is simple yet the most important; you both must be committed to the relationship and the work it takes to maintain a health functional relationship. Relationships may only be ‘easy’ in the ‘honeymoon period’ when both parties are on their absolute best behavior, there is tons of mystery and you are still both really getting to know one another. When that period wears off, whether it takes two months or three years that is when you really get to see if you both have what it takes to make this relationship work for the long term. You may trade the butterflies of the unknown for a shared beautiful history when you are in a long term relationship but with mutual commitment the feelings ebb and flow and the hard work it takes to maintain the relationship makes it all worthwhile.
If one of these essential components is missing from your relationship but you have mutual commitment than there is still hope. Seek a qualified counselor to assist you with the other areas covered above. It is often a great tool to have an objective qualified therapist who can reflect back and assist both of you in the process of navigating the road to long term commitment.
It is my experience in counseling couples that no situation is hopeless if both people are willing to do the work necessary to make changes to work through the issues that arise in the relationship, even some of the seemingly large ‘deal breakers’. It is my wish that you all have beautiful, fulfilling, love filled relationships in your lives.
Author's Bio
Allison is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in individual, couples and family therapy, and maintains a private practice in Pasadena & Monrovia, California.
With over five years experience as a therapist, and a graduate of Phillips Graduate Institute specializing in working with Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered issues, anxiety, depression, codependency, and grief & loss, she is currently serving as a private practitioner working with a broad spectrum of clients.
Allison is an interactive, humanistic, solution-focused therapist. Her therapeutic approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. She integrates complimentary methodologies and techniques to offer a highly personalized approach tailored to each client. With compassion and understanding, she works with each individual to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth they’re striving for in their lives.
Education
Master's Degree in Psychology -MFT
License, Certifications & Awards
License Number MFT 46004
Pupil Personnel Services Credential
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Fundamentals_of_a_Successful_Relationship_A_Marriage_Counselors_Perspective.html
1) Fighting Fairly
To begin, one must understand one of the most basic rules of getting along with others. Every relationship has arguments; they are a natural part of all relationships. But how you choose to engage in those arguments is a key factor in whether your relationship will withstand the test of time. You and your relationships benefit tremendously if you learn how to “fight fairly”. What does it mean to fight fairly?
If you are the type to pull punches below the belt, name calling, screaming or using a threatening tone, bringing in another person for their opinion, drudging up past history or slipping in that sarcastic comment just because you know it will hurt the other person than you are not fighting fairly. Some behaviors or interpersonal patterns must be decidedly eliminated from your relationships if you wish to have a healthier relationship.
Fighting fairly includes, taking time out if you need time to cool off before discussing issues with your significant other. It also entails healthy communication, willingness to compromise, and discussing items of conflict without withdrawing physically or shutting down emotionally. Can you touch your significant others hand when your discussing something where you feel conflict? Or do you pull yourself away the minute a conflict arises.
2) Healthy Communication
Avoid absolute language like “always” and “never”. It means using “I” statements that describe your feelings instead of “you” statements that often make the other person feel attacked.
For example, instead of saying to your significant other, “you always come home late, you never think about me?”, you could say, “I feel worried (fill in your feeling) when you (fill in your significant others behavior as objectively as you can) come home late without calling and I would like you to (what do you want or need) call if you are going to be late.” It is important to understand that we must express what we need and take a look at our expectations to see if they are reasonable and fair. If expectations are continually not met than something is not working in the area of compromise or your core values/desires are significantly different and outside help may be needed.
3) Similar Core Values/Desires
A critical component to a successful relationship is determining if you and your significant other have similar core values and desires. If you want kids and your honey doesn’t have the slightest interest in children you want to find this out early. If one of you wants to live in the city and one of you wants to live in the country and neither of you is willing to compromise this match may not be made in heaven. If you believe in undying honesty and your significant other thinks lying is acceptable behavior you may be dealing with some of the more critical “deal breakers”.
It is important to clarify the big issues and identify if there are any core values or desires that are vastly different and can’t be worked through. If you go into the relationship seeing these red flags and think “I’ll deal with it later” it is a recipe for disaster. By definition a “deal breaker” is something you believe you absolutely must have in your relationship to be happy. Each person has to figure out what their deal breakers are before they can actively decide if a relationship will work or not. It is mostly about knowing what you want in life and in your relationships.
Some other topics to consider when evaluating core values and desires are to look at how each of your view and feel about the following topics such as; money, raising children, sex or sexual issues, division of labor/chores, how you like to spend your off time, monogamy, friendship, commitment, trust, substance use or abuse, anger management and styles of handling anger, and most of all do you both believe in or want a long term relationship.
4) Willingness to Compromise
There are many times where compromise plays a significant role in a successful relationship. If you want one thing and your significant other wants something else, there are times when you both could benefit the relationship by meeting the need of your significant other. It is important to ask yourself, is this something I can compromise on?
The way you choose to think about your chosen compromises can help or hinder the relationship. If you choose resignation “Ugh, I have to go to this party because my significant other wants to” versus acceptance “I am choosing to go with my significant other to this party because it is important to him or her”. Just by virtue of choosing the way you frame the thought, you are influencing your feelings about the situation. Many of the perceived deal breakers may not be deal breakers at all if you have good communication with your significant other and can talk things out throughout the relationship you may find very amicable solutions to your differences.
One of the biggest questions you must ask yourselves when you are in relationship, is it more important to be right or happy? Sometimes it can be as easy as letting go of the need to the one in the relationship who is “right”. One question to consider when deciding if you are willing to compromise on an issue is, “will this matter to me in five years”, if you find the answer is no it maybe easier to find your way to compromising in that scenario.
5) Expressing Your Love and Appreciating Each Other
The research suggests that couples that demonstrate their affection and love towards one another are more successful. Particularly appropriate when they can demonstrate affection and maintain a positive connection to their significant other when in the middle of conflict. This is much easier said than done, but it can be learned and it is definitely worth attempting to incorporate into your work towards being a successful couple.
Focus on what you love about each other. Catch your significant other doing things that you appreciate and let them know how much you appreciate those things. Find special moments in the day to share your love and appreciation with one another and you will find you continue to discover more to love and appreciate. It is important you remember what it was that attracted you to each other talk about those things that you find loveable, kind, warm, fun, sexy and attractive. When you are feeling a momentary lack of love, do something kind for your significant other getting out of your own head and into being of service. A little bit of gratitude goes a very long way. If you sneak a peek at your honey doing something you really love, tell them! Express gratitude in every way possible.
6) Mutual Commitment
This one is simple yet the most important; you both must be committed to the relationship and the work it takes to maintain a health functional relationship. Relationships may only be ‘easy’ in the ‘honeymoon period’ when both parties are on their absolute best behavior, there is tons of mystery and you are still both really getting to know one another. When that period wears off, whether it takes two months or three years that is when you really get to see if you both have what it takes to make this relationship work for the long term. You may trade the butterflies of the unknown for a shared beautiful history when you are in a long term relationship but with mutual commitment the feelings ebb and flow and the hard work it takes to maintain the relationship makes it all worthwhile.
If one of these essential components is missing from your relationship but you have mutual commitment than there is still hope. Seek a qualified counselor to assist you with the other areas covered above. It is often a great tool to have an objective qualified therapist who can reflect back and assist both of you in the process of navigating the road to long term commitment.
It is my experience in counseling couples that no situation is hopeless if both people are willing to do the work necessary to make changes to work through the issues that arise in the relationship, even some of the seemingly large ‘deal breakers’. It is my wish that you all have beautiful, fulfilling, love filled relationships in your lives.
Author's Bio
Allison is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in individual, couples and family therapy, and maintains a private practice in Pasadena & Monrovia, California.
With over five years experience as a therapist, and a graduate of Phillips Graduate Institute specializing in working with Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered issues, anxiety, depression, codependency, and grief & loss, she is currently serving as a private practitioner working with a broad spectrum of clients.
Allison is an interactive, humanistic, solution-focused therapist. Her therapeutic approach is to provide support and practical feedback to help clients effectively address personal life challenges. She integrates complimentary methodologies and techniques to offer a highly personalized approach tailored to each client. With compassion and understanding, she works with each individual to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth they’re striving for in their lives.
Education
Master's Degree in Psychology -MFT
License, Certifications & Awards
License Number MFT 46004
Pupil Personnel Services Credential
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Fundamentals_of_a_Successful_Relationship_A_Marriage_Counselors_Perspective.html
Step by Step, Breath by Breath - Courage
I walked into the hospital on Monday morning for my surgery trembling like a dog walking into the vets. I put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, one breath at a time, and I got through it!
I’ve always been afraid of hospitals and the idea of surgery. In the past I thought if I had to choose between hospitalization and death, I would choose death. I didn’t think I had it in me to be able to handle it. But I am handling it. I am braver than I thought!
Cancer has been one of my worst fears. Over the years I’ve performed all kinds of anti-cancer rituals (taking vitamin D, wearing sunscreen, eating broccoli, etc.), trying to keep it at bay. It’s like I’ve been tiptoeing around a sleeping beast, trying not to wake it. Yet despite my best efforts, the beast awakened.
A friend told me about someone she knew who had taken great care of his body, mind, and spirit; yet still he had a heart attack. He was sure it was a mistake and said, “Somewhere, there’s a guy sitting in front of a TV watching wrestling, clutching a beer, with Cheetos dust floating down onto his big belly…. and I HAD HIS HEART ATTACK!” We humans are so funny! We actually think we can control these things!
In early childhood I had a recurring dream: I was walking into a field with other kids and they wanted to walk into the woods at the edge of the field. I was afraid of the big bad wolf in the woods, so I didn’t go with them. I lay down on a picnic table in the open field by myself and thought that I was safe; but when I opened my eyes, the wolf was there, right next to me, staring at me with sparkling flinty eyes! Even as a young child I was struck by the irony of it.
One way I’ve tried to keep the wolf from my door is by very carefully avoiding x-rays, not even wanting digital dental x-rays. When I had appendicitis a few months ago I was given a CT scan which has 500 times more radiation than a normal x-ray! That wolf has a way of finding me no matter what I do! I’ve finally come to a place where I give up; I surrender; I throw up my hands; I let go of trying to control everything; I stop running.
I lay on my hospital bed pre-op, and in a field of awareness, I took slow deep breaths and faced the wolf. I got up close and curious about it’s sharp teeth and claws. I looked into its flinty eyes…and I discovered…it is Fear in wolf’s clothing! What I’ve feared is the biting discomfort of my throat clutching, heart pounding, gut wrenching fear. FDR was right, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” The Fear of the cancer feels so much worse than the cancer itself.
I am facing my fear, sitting with it, keeping it company, holding its hand, feeling compassion, allowing it to be here. I’ve heard two acronyms for FEAR: one is Feel Everything And Recover. The other is F__k Everything And Run!
These are the different agendas of our ego and our spirit. Ego wants to run for the hills and be safe. Spirit wants to fly like an eagle as high as it can go, fully experiencing life, including fear. When challenges befall me, my ego wails in a Mr. Bill whine, “Oh Noooooo. Not another learning opportunity!” My spirit says, “Oh Yeah! Another opportunity to grow! Bring it onnnnn!”
My ego moans, “We are in deep doodoo!” My spirit exalts, “Rich soil!” Ego scolds, “Now we’ve gone and done it – our fear has drawn the cancer to us!” Spirit exclaims, “Cool, cancer! It will help us come face to face with fear, feel it fully, and make friends with it!” Who knows what our souls are up to; there’s so much more going on than meets the eye - We are so much more.
When faced with the thing I most feared, I’m finding that I have more courage than I ever dreamed possible. My mind has been telling me that I’m “the biggest scaredy cat in the world.” What I’m actually discovering is that I am someone who has the courage to be present with my worst fears, one breath at a time, one trembling foot in front of the other. Hand in hand with my Compassionate Witness, I am doing this! And if I can do this, anyone can!
We have more courage and spirit than we know. When we are tested, we somehow find the strength to soar with the eagles; no longer circling the drain, we circle the sky!
The View from My Hospital Bed
It is midnight.
I am inwardly moaning and complaining about
the moaning, complaining woman next to me
who is keeping me awake.
I want to feel compassion.
And…I want to throttle her.
I ask the nurse, “Is there a quieter room?”
“No.”
There is no escape.
How perfect - I am reading the book, “The Wisdom of No Escape”
about compassion and surrendering to what is.
I surrender.
I cry.
My roomie and I cry together.
I ask about her and she tells me her story.
Her daughter died 4 months ago, which shattered her heart.
Ten days ago she crashed her car into a tree, which shattered her body.
“I am in so much pain,” she cries.
I want to hug her.
I want to hold her hand.
How perfect that she is my roommate.
She is reminding me about compassion.
I fall asleep sending her love on my out breaths.
This morning I watched the sun rise
over the mountains.
How wonderful to have this view
from my hospital bed.
Author's Bio
Jan Jacobsen has been on a 35-year learning journey. She has completed a 2-year training in Hakomi, a mind/body approach which advocates that healing happens when we bring loving presence to what is. She has also apprenticed for two years with Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks (authors of Conscious Loving), learning skills that help love be real and fun. Her thriving relationship with her husband Tom is a testament to the effectiveness and value of those skills.
Jan recently got a diagnosis of cancer, which inspired her to quit her job and focus on doing the writing she always said she would do one day. She writes with passion, purpose and playfulness.
Her newsletters are available at http://Enlightenink.com
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Step_by_Step_Breath_by_Breath_-_Courage.html
I’ve always been afraid of hospitals and the idea of surgery. In the past I thought if I had to choose between hospitalization and death, I would choose death. I didn’t think I had it in me to be able to handle it. But I am handling it. I am braver than I thought!
Cancer has been one of my worst fears. Over the years I’ve performed all kinds of anti-cancer rituals (taking vitamin D, wearing sunscreen, eating broccoli, etc.), trying to keep it at bay. It’s like I’ve been tiptoeing around a sleeping beast, trying not to wake it. Yet despite my best efforts, the beast awakened.
A friend told me about someone she knew who had taken great care of his body, mind, and spirit; yet still he had a heart attack. He was sure it was a mistake and said, “Somewhere, there’s a guy sitting in front of a TV watching wrestling, clutching a beer, with Cheetos dust floating down onto his big belly…. and I HAD HIS HEART ATTACK!” We humans are so funny! We actually think we can control these things!
In early childhood I had a recurring dream: I was walking into a field with other kids and they wanted to walk into the woods at the edge of the field. I was afraid of the big bad wolf in the woods, so I didn’t go with them. I lay down on a picnic table in the open field by myself and thought that I was safe; but when I opened my eyes, the wolf was there, right next to me, staring at me with sparkling flinty eyes! Even as a young child I was struck by the irony of it.
One way I’ve tried to keep the wolf from my door is by very carefully avoiding x-rays, not even wanting digital dental x-rays. When I had appendicitis a few months ago I was given a CT scan which has 500 times more radiation than a normal x-ray! That wolf has a way of finding me no matter what I do! I’ve finally come to a place where I give up; I surrender; I throw up my hands; I let go of trying to control everything; I stop running.
I lay on my hospital bed pre-op, and in a field of awareness, I took slow deep breaths and faced the wolf. I got up close and curious about it’s sharp teeth and claws. I looked into its flinty eyes…and I discovered…it is Fear in wolf’s clothing! What I’ve feared is the biting discomfort of my throat clutching, heart pounding, gut wrenching fear. FDR was right, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” The Fear of the cancer feels so much worse than the cancer itself.
I am facing my fear, sitting with it, keeping it company, holding its hand, feeling compassion, allowing it to be here. I’ve heard two acronyms for FEAR: one is Feel Everything And Recover. The other is F__k Everything And Run!
These are the different agendas of our ego and our spirit. Ego wants to run for the hills and be safe. Spirit wants to fly like an eagle as high as it can go, fully experiencing life, including fear. When challenges befall me, my ego wails in a Mr. Bill whine, “Oh Noooooo. Not another learning opportunity!” My spirit says, “Oh Yeah! Another opportunity to grow! Bring it onnnnn!”
My ego moans, “We are in deep doodoo!” My spirit exalts, “Rich soil!” Ego scolds, “Now we’ve gone and done it – our fear has drawn the cancer to us!” Spirit exclaims, “Cool, cancer! It will help us come face to face with fear, feel it fully, and make friends with it!” Who knows what our souls are up to; there’s so much more going on than meets the eye - We are so much more.
When faced with the thing I most feared, I’m finding that I have more courage than I ever dreamed possible. My mind has been telling me that I’m “the biggest scaredy cat in the world.” What I’m actually discovering is that I am someone who has the courage to be present with my worst fears, one breath at a time, one trembling foot in front of the other. Hand in hand with my Compassionate Witness, I am doing this! And if I can do this, anyone can!
We have more courage and spirit than we know. When we are tested, we somehow find the strength to soar with the eagles; no longer circling the drain, we circle the sky!
The View from My Hospital Bed
It is midnight.
I am inwardly moaning and complaining about
the moaning, complaining woman next to me
who is keeping me awake.
I want to feel compassion.
And…I want to throttle her.
I ask the nurse, “Is there a quieter room?”
“No.”
There is no escape.
How perfect - I am reading the book, “The Wisdom of No Escape”
about compassion and surrendering to what is.
I surrender.
I cry.
My roomie and I cry together.
I ask about her and she tells me her story.
Her daughter died 4 months ago, which shattered her heart.
Ten days ago she crashed her car into a tree, which shattered her body.
“I am in so much pain,” she cries.
I want to hug her.
I want to hold her hand.
How perfect that she is my roommate.
She is reminding me about compassion.
I fall asleep sending her love on my out breaths.
This morning I watched the sun rise
over the mountains.
How wonderful to have this view
from my hospital bed.
Author's Bio
Jan Jacobsen has been on a 35-year learning journey. She has completed a 2-year training in Hakomi, a mind/body approach which advocates that healing happens when we bring loving presence to what is. She has also apprenticed for two years with Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks (authors of Conscious Loving), learning skills that help love be real and fun. Her thriving relationship with her husband Tom is a testament to the effectiveness and value of those skills.
Jan recently got a diagnosis of cancer, which inspired her to quit her job and focus on doing the writing she always said she would do one day. She writes with passion, purpose and playfulness.
Her newsletters are available at http://Enlightenink.com
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Step_by_Step_Breath_by_Breath_-_Courage.html
Exercise the Penis to Increase the Size of a Penis
Exercises performed on the penis for enlargement purposes date back thousands of years ago in ancient records. It is only a recent involvement in studies and patient trials that penis exercises have been proven to effectively make the penis larger in length and width. Through these same studies, the penis exercises not only created a male enlargement effect but also provided further benefits too.
Sometimes called male enhancement exercises, manifest benefits such as a longer and thicker penis, making the penis harder during an erection and having the stamina for longer use of an erection, a raise in the levels of sperm contained in an ejaculation, enhances sexual control and performance. These benefits to penis exercises can give other benefits in other areas of you life as well. Gain confidence and esteem knowing how you can perform with your sexual partner and the ability to pleasure in bed all the better with a tool that is above average and long-lasting. Following penis exercise programs can accomplish of of this.
How is it that penis exercises can make all this happen? Simply put, the penis is a muscle and when you work a muscle it gets stronger and bigger. Depending on the exercise performed, the penile tissues will react accordingly and through increased blood flow, will expand and make room for more blood circulating, therefore building strength and size.
In a more slightly more detailed manner, here is how specific exercises perform to give results:
* Kegel Exercise
The focus of these exercises are not on the penis but instead work the muscle found at the base of the penis which are called the pubococcygeus muscle. Working this muscle is reported to impede erection which results in a longer period of erection ability.
* Penis Stretching Exercise
Increased length and girth will result from stretching the penis' inside tissues. By stretching the tissues, this forces the cells to expand and multiply taking up more room within the penile walls and creates growth everywhere. The stretching exercises carried out on a penis can be done through various types, but the end result will all be the same.
* Jelqing Exercise
This is most likely the oldest of penis exercises performed today and possibly the most well known. This penis enhancement method dates back to nomadic tribes of Arabia. This exercise technique works to fill the Corpora Covernosa with increased amounts of blood through a "milking" motion applied to the penis. For those that are not aware, the Corpora Covernosa is the section in the penis that becomes enlarged during erections due to blood filling it up. Practicing the "milking" technique regularly will continue to increase the amount of blood held within the penis and the penis will grow in size to accommodate the blood flow. Increases in size will be noticed both in width and length.
All exercises should be performed regularly in order to maintain the size and ability of the penis. Look for more information on these exercises over the Internet, to ensure you are performing the exercises correctly for the most benefit and to reduce risk of injury.
Author's Bio
Learn differnt techniques of male enhancement and also read reviews of Prosolution.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/exercise_the_penis_to_increase_the_size_of_a_penis.html
Sometimes called male enhancement exercises, manifest benefits such as a longer and thicker penis, making the penis harder during an erection and having the stamina for longer use of an erection, a raise in the levels of sperm contained in an ejaculation, enhances sexual control and performance. These benefits to penis exercises can give other benefits in other areas of you life as well. Gain confidence and esteem knowing how you can perform with your sexual partner and the ability to pleasure in bed all the better with a tool that is above average and long-lasting. Following penis exercise programs can accomplish of of this.
How is it that penis exercises can make all this happen? Simply put, the penis is a muscle and when you work a muscle it gets stronger and bigger. Depending on the exercise performed, the penile tissues will react accordingly and through increased blood flow, will expand and make room for more blood circulating, therefore building strength and size.
In a more slightly more detailed manner, here is how specific exercises perform to give results:
* Kegel Exercise
The focus of these exercises are not on the penis but instead work the muscle found at the base of the penis which are called the pubococcygeus muscle. Working this muscle is reported to impede erection which results in a longer period of erection ability.
* Penis Stretching Exercise
Increased length and girth will result from stretching the penis' inside tissues. By stretching the tissues, this forces the cells to expand and multiply taking up more room within the penile walls and creates growth everywhere. The stretching exercises carried out on a penis can be done through various types, but the end result will all be the same.
* Jelqing Exercise
This is most likely the oldest of penis exercises performed today and possibly the most well known. This penis enhancement method dates back to nomadic tribes of Arabia. This exercise technique works to fill the Corpora Covernosa with increased amounts of blood through a "milking" motion applied to the penis. For those that are not aware, the Corpora Covernosa is the section in the penis that becomes enlarged during erections due to blood filling it up. Practicing the "milking" technique regularly will continue to increase the amount of blood held within the penis and the penis will grow in size to accommodate the blood flow. Increases in size will be noticed both in width and length.
All exercises should be performed regularly in order to maintain the size and ability of the penis. Look for more information on these exercises over the Internet, to ensure you are performing the exercises correctly for the most benefit and to reduce risk of injury.
Author's Bio
Learn differnt techniques of male enhancement and also read reviews of Prosolution.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/exercise_the_penis_to_increase_the_size_of_a_penis.html
Book Review: The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
If there's anyone qualified to write a self-help book on success, it's Jack Canfield, who's worked his way from scraping by as a teacher to holding a Guinness world record for having seven books simultaneously on The New York Times® Best Sellers list.
As a coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, he's sold more than 80 million books, and now lives "in a beautiful California estate" with his days of dining on spaghetti and tomato paste long behind him. "All you have to do is decide what it is you want, believe you deserve it, and practice the principles in this book," he says, and success is yours.
His advice is straightforward (examples: "reject rejection" and "surround yourself with successful people"), but rather derivative, with quotes from the likes of JFK, Colin Powell, Aldous Huxley, and fellow motivation author Napoleon Hill.Canfield's definition of success is primarily monetary, and he includes plenty of anecdotes depicting average folks who saved themselves from the brink of bankruptcy after following his principles. He could tone down the braggadocio; readers don't need to know that he's stayed in resorts in Hawaii, Italy, Australia, and Morocco. Despite those gripes, his cheerleader-caliber enthusiasm should benefit anyone looking to improve their lot in life. --Erica Jorgensen
Product Information
Jack Canfield, cocreator of the phenomenal bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, turns to the principles he's studied, taught, and lived for more than 30 years in this practical and inspiring guide that will help any aspiring person get from where they are to where they want to be.
The Success Principles™ will teach you how to increase your confidence, tackle daily challenges, live with passion and purpose, and realize all your ambitions. Not merely a collection of good ideas, this book spells out the 64 timeless principles used by successful men and women throughout history. Taken together and practiced every day, these principles will transform your life beyond your wildest dreams!
Filled with memorable and inspiring stories of CEOs, world-class athletes, celebrities, and everyday people, The Success Principles™ will give you the proven blueprint you need to achieve any goal you desire.
To view this book on Amazon.com, click here.
Author's Bio
Jack Canfield, America's Success Coach, is the cocreator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, which includes 40 New York Times bestsellers, and coauthor with Gay Hendricks of You've GOT to Read This Book! An internationally renowned corporate trainer, keynote speaker, and popular radio and TV talk show guest, he lives in Santa Barbara, California.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Success_Principles_How_to_Get_from_Where_You_Are_to_Where_You_Want_to_Be.html
As a coauthor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, he's sold more than 80 million books, and now lives "in a beautiful California estate" with his days of dining on spaghetti and tomato paste long behind him. "All you have to do is decide what it is you want, believe you deserve it, and practice the principles in this book," he says, and success is yours.
His advice is straightforward (examples: "reject rejection" and "surround yourself with successful people"), but rather derivative, with quotes from the likes of JFK, Colin Powell, Aldous Huxley, and fellow motivation author Napoleon Hill.Canfield's definition of success is primarily monetary, and he includes plenty of anecdotes depicting average folks who saved themselves from the brink of bankruptcy after following his principles. He could tone down the braggadocio; readers don't need to know that he's stayed in resorts in Hawaii, Italy, Australia, and Morocco. Despite those gripes, his cheerleader-caliber enthusiasm should benefit anyone looking to improve their lot in life. --Erica Jorgensen
Product Information
Jack Canfield, cocreator of the phenomenal bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, turns to the principles he's studied, taught, and lived for more than 30 years in this practical and inspiring guide that will help any aspiring person get from where they are to where they want to be.
The Success Principles™ will teach you how to increase your confidence, tackle daily challenges, live with passion and purpose, and realize all your ambitions. Not merely a collection of good ideas, this book spells out the 64 timeless principles used by successful men and women throughout history. Taken together and practiced every day, these principles will transform your life beyond your wildest dreams!
Filled with memorable and inspiring stories of CEOs, world-class athletes, celebrities, and everyday people, The Success Principles™ will give you the proven blueprint you need to achieve any goal you desire.
To view this book on Amazon.com, click here.
Author's Bio
Jack Canfield, America's Success Coach, is the cocreator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, which includes 40 New York Times bestsellers, and coauthor with Gay Hendricks of You've GOT to Read This Book! An internationally renowned corporate trainer, keynote speaker, and popular radio and TV talk show guest, he lives in Santa Barbara, California.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_Success_Principles_How_to_Get_from_Where_You_Are_to_Where_You_Want_to_Be.html
Prostate Massage Can Ease Prostate Symptoms
Prostate massage can ease prostate symptoms, improve the circulation of blood in the prostate, help cleanse the gland, promote bladder health, and rejuvenate sexual capabilities. It can be done as often as necessary and once prostate symptoms have gone away, once or twice a month is enough to keep the prostate healthy.
After the initial squeamish sensations of having the male prostate gland stimulated are overcome, a man can begin to enjoy the pleasurable effects and in many cases may experience highly pleasurable orgasms. As with all forms of foreplay, there should be prior buildup of intimacy between the partners and this form of pleasure cannot be rushed.
Prostate Stimulation
Prostate stimulation, also known as prostate massage, is term used to describe stimulation of male's G-spot. When done properly, self prostate stimulation can help a man to achieve explosive and mind altering multiple orgasms. While there are no shortage of advice on female's orgasm and G-spot, it is time to talk about enhancing your sexual pleasure.
Prostate stimulation is when the prostate gland is massaged and a man has an ejaculation of semen without his penis being manipulated. This can be done by yourself or with a partner. You can find out how you can start finding sensual pleasure without your penis ever being touched simply by learning how to utilize prostate stimulation.
Prostate exercising at least once a week allows you flush the system with oxygenated blood and allows peak sperm production, maintains prostrate health and generally maintains optimum performance.
Aside from the potential health benefits, prostate stimulation can for many men, lead to a prostate orgasm. A prostate orgasm is much different than a typical male orgasm in the fact that they usually are much more intense and last longer than a typical male orgasm.
Prostate Orgasm
A Prostate massage also known as self prostate milking is one of the most pleasurable activity a man can experience in his lifetime. It is not only pleasurable, but it helps maintain a healthy Prostate.
A prostate massager is specifically designed to stimulate the prostate and is very beneficial for men who dislike using their finger for the prostate massage or prostate milking or can't reach their prostate.
Prostate orgasms are much more intense and last much longer than regular penile orgasms. Also, since you don't ejaculate during prostate orgasms, your refractory period (time between erections/sex) is no longer an issue. Again, no ejaculation, no prolactin. Therefore no end to sex!
While beneficial for some individuals,prostate milking it is NOT advisable for men with acute prostatitis as a prostate milking may for allow the prostate infection to spread to other parts of the body.About the Author:
After the initial squeamish sensations of having the male prostate gland stimulated are overcome, a man can begin to enjoy the pleasurable effects and in many cases may experience highly pleasurable orgasms. As with all forms of foreplay, there should be prior buildup of intimacy between the partners and this form of pleasure cannot be rushed.
Prostate Stimulation
Prostate stimulation, also known as prostate massage, is term used to describe stimulation of male's G-spot. When done properly, self prostate stimulation can help a man to achieve explosive and mind altering multiple orgasms. While there are no shortage of advice on female's orgasm and G-spot, it is time to talk about enhancing your sexual pleasure.
Prostate stimulation is when the prostate gland is massaged and a man has an ejaculation of semen without his penis being manipulated. This can be done by yourself or with a partner. You can find out how you can start finding sensual pleasure without your penis ever being touched simply by learning how to utilize prostate stimulation.
Prostate exercising at least once a week allows you flush the system with oxygenated blood and allows peak sperm production, maintains prostrate health and generally maintains optimum performance.
Aside from the potential health benefits, prostate stimulation can for many men, lead to a prostate orgasm. A prostate orgasm is much different than a typical male orgasm in the fact that they usually are much more intense and last longer than a typical male orgasm.
Prostate Orgasm
A Prostate massage also known as self prostate milking is one of the most pleasurable activity a man can experience in his lifetime. It is not only pleasurable, but it helps maintain a healthy Prostate.
A prostate massager is specifically designed to stimulate the prostate and is very beneficial for men who dislike using their finger for the prostate massage or prostate milking or can't reach their prostate.
Prostate orgasms are much more intense and last much longer than regular penile orgasms. Also, since you don't ejaculate during prostate orgasms, your refractory period (time between erections/sex) is no longer an issue. Again, no ejaculation, no prolactin. Therefore no end to sex!
While beneficial for some individuals,prostate milking it is NOT advisable for men with acute prostatitis as a prostate milking may for allow the prostate infection to spread to other parts of the body.About the Author:
Keeping your prostate healthy should be something on your agenda because it is exceptionally important to your health.Care to read more about Healthy Prostate
Paul Rodgers specializes in promoting natural health and beauty products
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Prostate Massage Can Ease Prostate Symptoms
Live Gay Sex and the Changing Landscape of Homosexual Casual Sex
As always, homosexuals have the cutting edge when it comes to social and sexual trends. Before most global societies have accepted and recognized the norms and behaviors of homosexuals when it comes to sex, marriages and lifestyle, gay men in the old eras have strived to be discreet about their love and intimate lives. They had been so creative and innovative in hiding and enjoying their lives, despite prejudice and discrimination by the 'straight' societies.
Just when people around the globe are building respect and acknowledgement to gay relationships, lifestyles and marriages, the gay community is at it again. This time, casual sex and entertainment is innovated and revamped, to the further convenience and enjoyment of gay men who may want and need intimacy, anytime, anywhere they are.
The Internet is now flooded with numerous live gay Webcams, which promote online, interactive and live gay sex across the broadband. What makes such gay Webcams flourish is the undeniable fact that indeed, there are many gay guys (bisexuals, discreets and out) who are getting into online adventure. Live gay Webcams and online intimate sessions are becoming a more integral part of the Internet.
Now, any gay guy need not go out to the streets or to known meeting places to 'cruise around' and meet people who may potentially get to bed with them. Gay guys only need to get to the front of the computer monitor, log online and get to any of the many gay Webcams services sites proliferating across the online media. In an instant, they could meet prospective guys for online or virtual casual sex. Take note, gay Webcams facilitate for online casual intimate sessions, without the need to meet somewhere else.
The Internet is really changing people's behavior, especially towards sex and intimacy. The gay community is just getting ahead of the game. Live gay sex has spread out like wildfire. Now, there are even versions of such online Webcam sexual sessions for straight people.
These days, gay guys could just stay inside the comforts of their home and have sex virtually through online live gay sex sites. Experts are not surprised that more and more gay people prefer such online encounters. First, gay Webcams are convenient. Second, such live gay Webcams are less expensive. Third, the market for such live gay sex is getting broader and bigger, bringing in more options and more people to possibly hook up with. And lastly, gay guys could easily avoid being exposed to possible sexually transmitted disease infections.
By: Robert Thomson
Casual sex and entertainment within the global gay community is innovated and revamped through the emergence of live gay sex sessions. Visit www.livejasmin.com.
What Do Men Really Want?
I've been seeing many articles about "what men want?" The themes are typically: food, sex, laundry, etc. Now, I certainly don't claim to know what all men want. I don't think any woman, or man for that matter, really knows such a thing. It implies all men are the same and have no capacity for individuality. I think most women would state that they want food, sex, and laundry too...
Food is an obvious one. Every human being (breatharians aside) needs food for survival, so it seems fairly straightforward, although some of the suggestions suggest that men wants women to provide food for them. Well, women need food too and most of us would love someone to prepare it for us. Having said that I think there are men (and women) who are exploiting gender stereotypes to suit their (sometimes selfish) wants.
Sex is also fairly obvious (for both men and women) but the articles I've been reading have made sex out to be this utilitarian thing that women provide. Women can certainly engage in sex if they choose to when they are in the mood. But, it shouldn't be presumed that because a woman (or a man, for that matter) is in a relationship, they are expected to be available for sex whenever his/her partner wants it. And, instead of looking at sex as something a man wants, perhaps more men would do well to be less self-focused and strive to authentically love, respect, and honor the women in their lives.
And, as for the laundry thing. What woman wouldn't want the laundry done for her too? It's not like the genome scientists discovered that only women come with the laundry gene. I think it's valuable to let go of some stereotypes about gender "norms" in favor of relationships involving people as individuals.
As a woman who has been in a long-term marriage to the most incredible man I've ever met and who brings a depth of character that goes well beyond desires for food, sex, and laundry, I've come to appreciate that some men are so much more than their perceived "wants" and that men deserve to be treated as individuals who may actually rise well above some of their counterparts. My incredible husband does a lot more laundry than I've ever done, while I do a lot more cooking, but that's what works for us. I don't expect him to do more of the laundry, and I know he doesn't expect me to have a meal on the table when he gets home. As he says, "if I'm hungry, I know how to make something to eat." And, perhaps the reason why people still think we're honeymooners after 12 years is that we love and cherish each other so much that we truly want the greatest happiness for each other, and nowhere does that mean servitude.
And women, too, deserve to be treated as individuals and not just entities that exist for the purpose of serving the wants of the men in their life. We are so much more than our capacities to provide food, sex, or laundry services. Yet, so many of us are taught to please others from the time we're children. So, if a guy says he'll be more commitment-oriented if we provide food, sex, and laundry services, many women will do these things. But, ultimately, such claims are exploitive of women.
And what about gay and lesbian relationships? Based on the arguments presented in some of the articles I've been reading, it would seem that gay and lesbian relationships would end in power struggles and stalemates. While that happens in some gay and straight relationships alike, homosexual relationships are not doomed to this ridiculous outcome because of gender stereotypes.
Isn't it time we recognized that all people are individuals with unique characteristics and therefore a combination of wants and needs may be unique to us? Oh, sure, many men (or women) will be thrilled to have women (or men, as the case may be) make their food, offer them sex, and complete their laundry at their beckon call. But, that isn't the way to true love or a successful long-term relationship.
And, maybe more women need to forget the articles, books, and blogs that tell them "what men want." All men are different. It serves men to perpetuate ridiculous stereotypes and broad claims (by doing so, they get their meals made, laundry done, and sex.) It's time for every woman to honor the beautiful individual she is: intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. By being a strong and authentic woman, I assure you, you will attract a partner who values your strength and respects your individuality--a partner who will love and honor you. That's because some men truly want a strong woman who is happy and not burned out from trying to please her man.
Michelle Schoffro Cook, DNM, DAc, CNC is a best-selling and six-time book author, whose works include: The Life Force Diet, The Ultimate pH Solution, The 4-Week Ultimate Body Detox Plan, The Brain Wash, and Healing Injuries the Natural Way. She has appeared in/on over 350 radio and television shows, newspaper and magazine articles worldwide, including: Woman's World, First for Women, Vegetarian Times, Robert Kennedy's Oxygen: Fitness for Women, HELLO! Canada, Glow, YOU: The Owner's Manual Radio Show, and The Gary Null Show. Visit www.DrMichelleCook.com to learn more about her work.
Author's Bio
www.Intent.com
Intent.com is a premier wellness site and supportive social network where like-minded individuals can connect and support each others' intentions. Founded by Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika Chopra, Intent.com aims to be the most trusted and comprehensive wellness destination featuring a supportive community of members, blogs from top wellness experts and curated online content relating to Personal, Social, Global and Spiritual wellness.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/+What_Do_Men_Really_Want.html
Food is an obvious one. Every human being (breatharians aside) needs food for survival, so it seems fairly straightforward, although some of the suggestions suggest that men wants women to provide food for them. Well, women need food too and most of us would love someone to prepare it for us. Having said that I think there are men (and women) who are exploiting gender stereotypes to suit their (sometimes selfish) wants.
Sex is also fairly obvious (for both men and women) but the articles I've been reading have made sex out to be this utilitarian thing that women provide. Women can certainly engage in sex if they choose to when they are in the mood. But, it shouldn't be presumed that because a woman (or a man, for that matter) is in a relationship, they are expected to be available for sex whenever his/her partner wants it. And, instead of looking at sex as something a man wants, perhaps more men would do well to be less self-focused and strive to authentically love, respect, and honor the women in their lives.
And, as for the laundry thing. What woman wouldn't want the laundry done for her too? It's not like the genome scientists discovered that only women come with the laundry gene. I think it's valuable to let go of some stereotypes about gender "norms" in favor of relationships involving people as individuals.
As a woman who has been in a long-term marriage to the most incredible man I've ever met and who brings a depth of character that goes well beyond desires for food, sex, and laundry, I've come to appreciate that some men are so much more than their perceived "wants" and that men deserve to be treated as individuals who may actually rise well above some of their counterparts. My incredible husband does a lot more laundry than I've ever done, while I do a lot more cooking, but that's what works for us. I don't expect him to do more of the laundry, and I know he doesn't expect me to have a meal on the table when he gets home. As he says, "if I'm hungry, I know how to make something to eat." And, perhaps the reason why people still think we're honeymooners after 12 years is that we love and cherish each other so much that we truly want the greatest happiness for each other, and nowhere does that mean servitude.
And women, too, deserve to be treated as individuals and not just entities that exist for the purpose of serving the wants of the men in their life. We are so much more than our capacities to provide food, sex, or laundry services. Yet, so many of us are taught to please others from the time we're children. So, if a guy says he'll be more commitment-oriented if we provide food, sex, and laundry services, many women will do these things. But, ultimately, such claims are exploitive of women.
And what about gay and lesbian relationships? Based on the arguments presented in some of the articles I've been reading, it would seem that gay and lesbian relationships would end in power struggles and stalemates. While that happens in some gay and straight relationships alike, homosexual relationships are not doomed to this ridiculous outcome because of gender stereotypes.
Isn't it time we recognized that all people are individuals with unique characteristics and therefore a combination of wants and needs may be unique to us? Oh, sure, many men (or women) will be thrilled to have women (or men, as the case may be) make their food, offer them sex, and complete their laundry at their beckon call. But, that isn't the way to true love or a successful long-term relationship.
And, maybe more women need to forget the articles, books, and blogs that tell them "what men want." All men are different. It serves men to perpetuate ridiculous stereotypes and broad claims (by doing so, they get their meals made, laundry done, and sex.) It's time for every woman to honor the beautiful individual she is: intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. By being a strong and authentic woman, I assure you, you will attract a partner who values your strength and respects your individuality--a partner who will love and honor you. That's because some men truly want a strong woman who is happy and not burned out from trying to please her man.
Michelle Schoffro Cook, DNM, DAc, CNC is a best-selling and six-time book author, whose works include: The Life Force Diet, The Ultimate pH Solution, The 4-Week Ultimate Body Detox Plan, The Brain Wash, and Healing Injuries the Natural Way. She has appeared in/on over 350 radio and television shows, newspaper and magazine articles worldwide, including: Woman's World, First for Women, Vegetarian Times, Robert Kennedy's Oxygen: Fitness for Women, HELLO! Canada, Glow, YOU: The Owner's Manual Radio Show, and The Gary Null Show. Visit www.DrMichelleCook.com to learn more about her work.
Author's Bio
www.Intent.com
Intent.com is a premier wellness site and supportive social network where like-minded individuals can connect and support each others' intentions. Founded by Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika Chopra, Intent.com aims to be the most trusted and comprehensive wellness destination featuring a supportive community of members, blogs from top wellness experts and curated online content relating to Personal, Social, Global and Spiritual wellness.
Source URL: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/+What_Do_Men_Really_Want.html
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